Saturday, February 17, 2007

Good Guys Finish Last

"Danny, you know what? You're a good guy." A far too common cry as of late. Do not get me wrong, I would rather be the good guy than the asshole. But here is the thing, girls don't want the good guy until they have found all the bad guys to break their hearts.

I am the friend. I listen to the girls when they have problems with the bad guys. I give them advice only to have it ignored. I make sure they get home in one piece even after a night of them hanging on every guy at the party but me. I want them to be happy.

This concept has been around far too long without a set explanation as to why. That is what I want to know. I want to know why these girls avoid us good guys. I want to know why they do not see that they already have what they look for in a guy. I want to know why not me?

If there are any girls who read this and know any of the answer, or even just a thought that might explain...please tell. It would help a bunch of us good guys feel a little better about ourselves.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Prof Named Pat

Foe-hawk. Verticle and horizontal striped button-up shirt. Band t-shirt beneath. Olive colored courdoroys. This is my Comp Sci prof. Dresses like a man. Walks like a man. Talks like a man. But since when is a man named Rebecca?

My Comp Sci prof is of the female gender. I do not think she is a girl. It must be how programmers are bred. Male. No, not bred. I think it must be a graduation requirement. Male. I look around me and I see seventeen chicks in class and seventy-two guys. Male dominance. If I really wanted to I could give you a breakdown of ethnicity and my personal judgement of dorkiness to add to the statistics, but that is not my focus.

I wonder, how many of the seventeen chicks in class with me will continue with their Comp Sci training and end up being one of the guys? Judging by how they look, there are only a handful that have already decided to be Comp Sci majors.

I bring this up because I wonder if it is the person that defines a proffesion, or rather if it is the profession that defines a person.

I move to my next example. French 204. My TA happens to be a young (I would guess mid-twenties), attractive, France native. So atractive that I even caught myself checking her left ring-finger for a ring. There was not one. By the way, when she speaks English, she has an amazing accent. She dresses almost as a coastie. Each day she has her Uggs. She has her "fashioable" clothing. Topped off with costie makeup and hairstyle.
I would also like to add in a quick description of my prof from French 203H last semester, but only because it was a guy and this proffession seems to have multiple gender capabilities. My prof last semester was in his early-mid thirties. He had a body that appeared as though he tries to keep it in shape but age is starting to take its toll on him. He seemed really laid back in his teaching style. Lastly, he came off as a bit gay.

Quick review. Programmers tend to be male. Female French majors tend to be fashionable, young, cute, the works. Male French majors tend to be laid back and gay. Side note: the information I draw these conclusions from extends beyond the case studies seen here.

So I now question if the person makes the proffesion or if the profession makes the person.
If you ask me, the profession makes the person. There will always be exceptions, but this is the conclusion I have reached. All Comp Sci majors I know seem to have the same style. All Frech majors I know seem to have the same style. But this rule so far can only be applied to French and Comp Sci majors. All other areas I have studied I either do not have enough cases to compare or I have only had generic teachers teaching me the subject.

I now need to take a few more philosophy classes to decide whether or not this rule is universal. I need to see if all of them are boring and intriguing at the same time. I need to see if all Sociology majors inspire entire four hundred lecture sections to learn, or if it was just one.

Maybe someday I will know for sure. Maybe I will know from my own life. Maybe becoming a Journalism major will change me. Maybe I will see that it isn't that I am going to be changed, I have always been what I need to be for a Journalism major.

MIA No More

I must apologize. I have been busy lately and not had time to update. Between school work and some other side projects I have just been too swamped with things to have time.

One of my current projects is my new blog. I realized that Facebook has a plethora of pictures on it. True story. My plan is to find the pictures of people looking stupid while drinking and turn them into cartoons. So far I have about a weeks worth of pictures if I update each day. I think that may be changed to each week day, just to keep my sanity. But all of you reading this post, if you haven't already, go to the new blog and check it out. I would also like some feedback. Make sure you send your friends there too.

I am happy to state that I am currently sitting next to my roommate for the next school year. If you do not know the story, I will give you a brief overview. I originally planned to live with one of my buddies from high school. But we couldn't decide on which dorm to live in. He want his current one, and I mine. So that is what we are doing, leaving me without a roommate. But a guy who lives down the hall from me and is in my Comp Sci class didn't have a roommate either. Now we each have a roommate. Makes sense no?

Currently I am really pissed. Most likely my current muse. Last semester someone stole my Cubs hat for a few months and demanding some unknown for me to get it back. I eventually got it back because her roommate brought it back. So this semester I stole some stupid thing she keeps on her desk, costing less than $5. It is hidden, quite well if I do say so myself, inside my room. Well, she started acting like a little kid and started threatening me. Threw a few minor fits. And last night she came to tell me while I was at work that she was planning on stealing my laptop. Turns out she didn't steal it, just created the crappiest background I have ever seen and added a password.
Being me and knowing what I know, I was able to get rid of the password in twenty minutes. It would have been sooner but I have never had to deal with this before so I had to do a little bit of research.
If there is someone reading this that can relay a message. In some way or another let her know that she has pissed off the volcano and this means war. Not cutesy, petty war either.

That is all of the news updates I have lately. I would like to inform you that when I get a chance I have three topics to talk about on here; professors, Vista, and I can't remember the third but it is on the desktop of my Desktop back in the dorm. I think I might start typing one once I post this just to waste some time.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Da Bears!

Because the Bears are going to the Super Bowl tomorrow night, I have been getting a lot of Bears related emails (mostly from my mom) and I though they should be shared with you.

Q. What kind of gift do you get Devin Hester?
A. Nothing, he's just going to return it.

While at the Fountain Blue Hotel in Miami, a Bears fan is trapped in an elevator with an angry lion, a hungry alligator, and an Indianapolis Colts fan. The Bears fan also has a gun with only two bullets. To survive, who does the Bears Fan shoot?Answer: The Colts fan, TWICE!!

Lovie Smith was seated in front at a Colts press conference. when the Colts coach asked if there were any questions, Lovie said "I heard a great Colts joke, do you want to hear it?" The coach said, "Lovie, look to your left, that's our defensive end. He's 300 pounds and easily irritated. Now look behind you and to your right...both are defensive tackles for the Colts and could beat up anyone. Now, are you sure you want to tell that Colts joke?" Lovie looked at each player, saw how mad they looked and said "Nope! I don't want to have to explain it three times!"

Q. What is the difference between the Colts and Cheerios?
A. Cheerios BELONG in a bowl.
Q: What's the difference between the Indianapolis Colts and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: What do the Indianapolis Colts and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a blue and orange sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Bears logo flag, and in every window, a Chicago Bears towel. Peyton looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even went to the Hall of Fame."God said, "So what's your point, Peyton?""Well, why does Rex Grossman get a better house than me?"God chuckled, and said: "Peyton, that's not Rex's house, it's mine."GO BEARS!!!

A man had 50-yard line tickets for the Bears NFC championship game. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he says, "The seat is empty.""This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Championship game and not use it?""Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first game we haven't gone to together since we got married in 1949.""Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

In honor of the Chicago Bears going to Super Bowl 41. Here are 41 things that have changed from the last time the Chicago Bears played in the Super Bowl (which was Super Bowl 20 in 1986):
1. Brian Urlacher was in 2nd grade. Rex Grossman was in kindergarten.
2. Peyton Manning was 10 years old. Eli Manning was 5 years old. Thier dad, Archie, had just retired from the NFL two years earlier.
3. Lovie Smith was in his first college coaching job at University of Tulsa.
4. Ronald Reagan was the President, and Harold Washington was the Mayor. James R. Thompson was the Governor running for re-election and his office was in the new State of Illinois Center, which is now called the James R. Thompson Center.
5. George W. Bush was 39 years old and still drinking. His father would run for President two years later.
6. Rod Blagojevich was just out of law school and was a low-level prosecutor working for the Cook County State's Attorney, Richard M.Daley.
7. Barack Obama had just moved to Illinois, and Osama bin Laden was fighting the Soviets in Afghanistan.
8. Red Grange and Sid Luckman were still alive.
9. The Colts had just moved to Indianapolis from Baltimore and were the doormat of the AFC EAST. The Bears were the champions of the NFC CENTRAL.
10. Property in Wicker Park and Bucktown was cheap because they were really bad neighborhoods.
11. CD players, cellular phones and fax machines were expensive,cutting edge technology and only a few people used them.
12. "Surfing the net" meant a volleyball game at the beach, and virtually no one used the "@" key on their TYPEWRITER.
13. Sam Walton was still alive and was wealthier than Bill Gates. Windows were panes of glass...not a computer operating system that was a pain in something that rhymes with glass.
14. The Soviet Union was our main enemy, and Saddam Hussein was our ally.
15. There were no lights at Wrigley Field, and the oldest park in baseball belonged to the White Sox.
16. Michael Jordan and Ozzie Guillen had just finished their "Rookie of the Year" seasons. Jordan's coach was Stan Albeck and Guillen's manager was Tony LaRussa. (Three out of four of those guys are now wearing championship rings, but what ever happened to Stan Albeck???)
17. Soldier Field had Astro Turf. The Houston Oilers played in the Astro Dome.
18. The Fox TV Network didn't exist, and ESPN had yet to air a single live pro football, baseball, or basketball game.
19. MTV played music and so did some AM radio stations.
20. Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff weren't born yet; Jackie Gleason and Richard Nixon were still alive.
21. Hillary Clinton had dark hair and was the First Lady......of Arkansas!
22. "The Love Boat" and "Diff'rent Strokes" were still on network TV every week.
23. Martin Luther King Day was about to be celebrated as a National Holiday for the first time. "9-11" was just a phone number as many cities were just adopting for emergency calls - not a date of terror.
24. I-88 was called "Illinois Rt. 5" and I-355 hadn't been built yet.
25. What the CTA now calls "The Blue Line" had just been extended to O'Hare, and the Orange Line to Midway hadn't been built yet.
26. Q101 played adult contemporary music and most teenagers listened to WLS. Music from the 70s and 80s wasn't "retro" yet.
27. Tiger Woods hadn't won an amateur golf tournament yet.
28. Most people knew Seattle just as a city in the Northwest U.S. - not the home of grunge or Starbucks.
29. Only Southerners went to NASCAR races and only Northerners went to NHL games.
30. The Chicago area had no Wal-Marts, Targets or Home Depots, and Walgreens was only in the Midwest.
31. Depending on your bank, your ATM card was good at only "CashStation" machines or only at "Money Network" machines, but there were no fees.
32. "The Phone Company" was Illinois Bell.
33. They still sold leaded gasoline and you couldn't pay for your gas at the pump.
34. Discover Card hadn't been discovered yet, and Miller Genuine Draft hadn't been brewed yet.
35. Stereo TVs were the rage that HDTVs are now. 8-track tapes were still being made.
36. All of the Blockbuster Video stores that are now closing hadn't opened yet. Betamax was still competing with VHS.
37. You paid cash for your groceries and fast food, and you used a travel agent to book airline flights.
38. Bowl games didn't have corporate sponsors, and if the #1 ranked team was in a conference that played in one bowl game and the #2 ranked team was in a conference that played in another bowl game, then so be it! They let the sportswriters vote on the national champion. (and no college football games were played after New Year's Day)
39. The Baltimore Ravens were the Cleveland Browns. The Tennessee Titans were the Houston Oilers. The Oakland Raiders were the Los Angeles Raiders that had just left Oakland. The Arizona Cardinals (the former Phoenix Cardinals) were the St. Louis Cardinals, and the St. Louis Rams were the Los Angeles Rams. The Jacksonville Jaguars, Carolina Panthers,Houston Texans, and the Cleveland Browns (not to be confused with the Cleveland Browns that are now the Baltimore Ravens) didn't exist. The Seattle Seahawks (last year's NFC Champions) played in the AFC.
40. Number 9 on the Bears was their Punky QB...not their perky fieldgoal kicker.
41. There were no iPods - just Sony Walkmen - so if you said something about a "shuffle" on your Walkman, they assumed you were listening to"The Super Bowl Shuffle"

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Indianapolis Colts fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Colts fans too. Not really knowing what a Colts fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.
There is, however, one exception. Susie has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.“Because I’m not a Colts fan” she reports. “Then,” asks the teacher,“what are you?” “I’m a Chicago Bears fan!” boasts the little girl. The teacher asks Susie why she is a Bears fan. “Well, my Dad and Mom are Bears fans, so I’m a Bears fan too” she responds. “That’s no reason,” the teacher says. “What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?”
Susie smiles and says, “A Colts fan.”

(AP) -The COLTS football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Tony Dungy immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again...

One day, while driving along, I saw a priest. I thought I would do a good deed, so I pulled over and asked the priest,
"Where are you going Father?"
"I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the road," replied the priest.
"Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!"
The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and we continued down the road. Suddenly, I saw a Green Bay fan walking down the road, with that "G" shirt on and I instinctively swerved as if to hit him but, as usual, I swerved back into the road just in time.
Even though I was certain that I had missed the guy, I still heard a loud "THUD."
Not understanding where the noise came from, I glanced in my mirrors but still didn't see anything. I then remembered the priest, and turned to the priest and said,
"Sorry Father, I almost hit that Green Bay fan."
"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."