Monday, December 25, 2006

Christmas...Its what it is all about...

Charlie Brown: (shouting in desperation) Isn't there anyone out there who can tell me what Christmas is all about?
Linus Van Pelt: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you. Lights, please. (A spotlight shines on Linus.) "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'". That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie brown.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Save Darfur

Guys, this takes about thirty seconds.

Did you know that 2.5 million people have been driven from their homes in Darfur, Sudan? Each day, they face threats that are hard for us to even imagine including rape, disease, and starvation.
These people need our help to put an end to the genocide and they need it NOW.
Please join me in taking the first step to stopping the violence. Sign the Save Darfur Coalition's petition urging President Bush and the UN Secretary-General to take immediate steps to stop the killing. Together, we can make a difference in the lives of millions of people in the region who desperately need outside help.
The Save Darfur Coalition is urging the international community to prevent further killings, displacement, and rape by deploying the UN peacekeeping force that has already been authorized, strengthening the understaffed African Union force that is already in Darfur, establishing a no-fly zone, increasing humanitarian aid, and ensuring access for delivery of food, medication and other essential supplies. Please do not stand by while the violence continues - you can make a difference.
Go to to get involved.
Then please forward this message to your friends and family and ask them to join you.
If you'd like to make a donation to support the campaign, you can do so at:
Donate Thank you for your help
Donate to Help Save DarfurHelp build the political pressure needed to end the crisis in Darfur by supporting the Save Darfur Coalition's crucial awareness and advocacy programs. Click here now to make a secure, tax-deductible online donation:
The Save Darfur Coalition is an alliance of over 175 faith-based, advocacy and humanitarian organizations whose mission is to raise public awareness about the ongoing genocide in Darfur and to mobilize a unified response to the atrocities that threaten the lives of more than two million people in the Darfur region. To learn more, please visit
Take action now at

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

What would you do...?

Kevin inspire me. You will never know me, but I will always know you. I have spent the last six and a half hours watching you, learning about you, wishing I could have had your life.

You, like all other kids, had to go to school. You, like all other kids didn't like it most of the time. You, like all other kids, lived life to the best of your ability.

You, Kevin Arnold, had your ups. You, Kevin Arnold had your downs. What is important is you had friends. What is important is you had family. What is important is you had love.

You and Paul Pfifer knew each other since you were little. Though you tried hard at times, like the time his dad got some money that your dad missed out on, to sever this life long bond you could not. You saw Paul for who he was. You knew Paul for who he would be.

Kevin Arnold, you had a mother who loved you and a father who worked hard for you. Kevin Arnold, you had a sister who showed you a life different from your own. Kevin Arnold, you had a brother who wasn't what you were, but excelled at it. Kevin Arnold, you had a grandfather who to help himself sold you your first car and his last for a buck.

It began with Becky Slater and ended with Inga. Becky started a war with you. Inga started a peace. In between you had others, like Caroline who mourned for your grandmothers liver. In between you had others, like Kara who was like a puff of smoke...gone in an instant. In between you had others, like Julie who left you no room for Duke. But the beginning doesn't matter and the in betweens can be forgotten. It is what you walked away with that counts.

Winnie Cooper. You, Kevin Arnold, met her the day your brother locked you out in the rain. She wore her yellow rain coat and yellow rain hat. You were with her when the war took her brother. You were with her when fights took her father. You were even with her when acting brought her father home. You, Kevin Arnold, got Winnie Cooper.

Friends, family, ups, and downs. We have them all. For some of us they work, for some of us they don't. I am happy to say Kevin Arnold, for you...they work.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Is this Neverland?

You just think happy thoughts, and they lift you into the air.

I found my happy thoughts. Running gives me happy thoughts. It clears my head. It lets me focus. It takes me away to another place where I do not have to grow up. It takes me away to a place where there are pirates and mermaids. It takes me away to a place where there are other lost boys. It lifts me up into the air.

"It is all the work of the ticking crocodile. Time is chasing after all of us." But I still try to run away.

Sunday, December 03, 2006


I hope that in writing this there is not too much self-loathing or any crap like that, if so...I apologize.

Time for a touchy subject. Love. L-O-V-E love. Touchy you ask? How is it touchy? From my experience love cannot be justly argued one way or another. There are some of you that believe in love; be it puppy, young, or true. There are those of you that will tell others that love cannot exist, that it is too in-tangible. And there are those of you that sit in the middle, with the pains of the chain-link fence of love in your ass. Well, I want to tell you what I think, but I do not think it is simply just yes, no, or maybe. Sorry.

I grew up with both my parents. My mom loved my dad, and my dad loved my mom. It was never a forced thing, it never felt uncomfortable. Do not hear me wrong, it was not perfect and I do not think it will be. They loved each other, but there were fights. My dad would say something and my mom would ignore my dad for a time and vice versa, though I think that my dad could carry on his lead-footed ignoring of my mom longer than my mom could my dad. This trait I have inherited, by genes or example...I do not know. But more often than these fights were the happy times. It seemed natural the way they worked. I never questioned it.

In the old days, marriages were arranged years in advanced. In the present day, this seems unjust. I cannot choose who I want to marry so my father can have a few extra acres of corn to sow each year. If you ask me, this idea breaks a law of some sort or another. However, if my marriage was arranged I would not despise it. I would embrace it (her) with open arms. You can be forced into this marriage and not like the idea, but that does not mean you cannot love her.

Here is my experience with love. For years I have loved my friends, through thick and thin. Some received more love, but...Well that's how it happened. There have been girls. One for many years who I still love to this day. I few crushes throughout middle school. Some almost and never-evers in high school along with a failed attempt. I even have my backup girl. We will wed when we are thirty if both of us are single. You are invited to the wedding if it happens. Now college brings new loves. This is the time in my life where I have found passions. I have learned to love more than people, and I understand this kind of love. What I mean to say is that there is a hierarchy of love and you are above her, but below this thing.

College have brought new opportunities. I am around the girls I know, and some that I like. But, we learn this can be a bad thing. A girl in my French class put it best, "Do not date someone who lives in the same dorm as you. You will always know where they are and what they are doing. Also do not take anthropology 227." It isn't necessarily with in the same housing structure. I found you should avoid people with similar schedules. For the same reason of course. In less than a semester I have moved through/between three girls. One showed only the interest of a good friend, which I chose to accept over nothing at all. So I moved on. Another showed enough interest, and at times too much until it was revealed that I seem to be not as good as the guy she engaged in relationship. So I moved on. A third seemed to show sincere interest. I showed it back. That is, until I found she was playing a game for her amusement that was not limited to me. Now I must move on again.

I have known for years what kind of life I want. It might have been around the time I saw The Wedding Singer for the first time. At a point in the movie, someone states that the main character has been looking forward to his wedding day since he was a child. It made me think, and I know what I would like if at all possible. I want to find genuine love. Love that can be seen by everyone, love that can be felt by everyone. I want to be so close to a girl that I do not need to say anything and she knows what I am thinking. I want to be so close to a girl that I need only to look into her sparkling eyes to see her emotions; her love, her hate, her sorrow, her joy. I want to be able to feel her when we are miles apart. I want her to have the same thing.

I know from experience that at least some of this is possible. It takes time, but to be able to talk without speaking. To know the very essence of another's thoughts just by a glance, this is conceivable to me. I have experienced it within two people, and only two people. I can talk to my mother without saying anything. I can glance at my best friend and know his thoughts. In one of the science fiction books I read, there was an attempt to put a phony scientific reasoning behind these statements. I read it and I reflected. Maybe it is possible to become so close to someone that a part of you is connected no matter where you go. I want this, I think everyone should want this. It makes you feel whole. But the third time will be the charm.

After I have my love, I want a simple life. I decided years ago that I do not need fame nor fortune to be happy. Just another. I do not need a big house nor fancy car. I just need one of each. I want a small house in the quiet town of no-name America. I want a job that pays the bills and puts enough into savings so if my wife wants to take time off of work for a month, a year, or a lifetime she can. I don't want anything special, well with the exception of a love.

It is funny, I envy what my parents have. I envy their love. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be so lucky as to have the same because it seems to perfect. I do not know how my parents met. I do not even know how long they knew each other before they married. I do not know what it was that inspired my father to ask my mother for marriage. I do not think those things are important. What is important to me is that they found each other, and with that love.