To whom it may concern,

To the girl that I have pursued:

I am done, I give up, you win.

That is to say that I am done chasing you. Though I am a runner, I cannot catch you. Though I am whole, you have broken me. Though I am gorgeous, it was not enough.

You have run too long, just out of grasp. I gave you everything I had, and you turned it down. I carried you home, I sent you to bed, and yet you see not what I am.

You never gave me the satisfaction I desire. You never gave me the time of day. You never looked at me as more than a friend. For this, I am hurt.

However, I am not saying that I will stop wanting you. If you read this, I encourage you to turn around. I encourage you to walk back to me. I encourage you to allow me to catch you.

Until that day comes, I will sit here and wait for you.

With love,
The ill-made knight

You Want Cliches? I've Got Twenty

Ok, so this may sound like one of those 'So I have this friend, lets call him George...' where the friend is usually the one telling the story, but it is not.

So I have this friend, lets call him George. Well he is more of a cousin than a friend. No wait, he is my cousin. He is a senior in high school and seems to have the all too familiar cliche of a story going for him. See, he fell for his best friend. I know right. However, the case isn't that she doesn't see him that way, well he believes that see likes him too. But his problem is that she doesn't want the relationship, or at least broadcast the vibe to him all the time. This in turn discourages him and he then moves on to find another girl that is willing, all the while keeping this secret...lust for her alive. He then tells me that every time he thinks about committing himself to another girl, his best friend does something, says something that makes him forget about the other girl.

This is where George came to me. He wants to know whether or not he should wait for his friend. He wants me to tell him whether or not this girl will ever see him the same way and commit to it. He wants to move on to scene two in this horrible cliche of a teen movie.

I am at a loss. From what he tells me, this girl is amazing. She is funny, intelligent, thought provoking and extra-ordinarily pretty.
But he wants her now and she doesn't seem to want to make up her mind.

So what would you do, in George's position? Let me know and I will add you to the credits when this story is made into a movie. I think I will title it, Fucking Teenagers and Their Cliched Lives.

The New, The Old, and The Cactus

So I lied, I did not write this a week ago as I planned. Sue me. Well please don't actually, because I am a poor college student.

I have been back a week now. Straight off, it is not what I hyped it to be. I looked forward to meeting new people, seeing the old, striking out on my own again. Yeah, not really so much.

Meeting people is hard for me. I am not the go out there and get them kind of guy. I am the sit back and have them come to me, kiss my ring, ask a favor of me kind of guy. Another part to my problem is that everyone has only been moved in for three days now, and I had to skip the house meeting because of work. Less than expected opprotunity. The final piece to my dilemma is that my friends, the old ones, don't seem to want to mingle and meet news ones as much as I do or in the same ways. For the record I made an attempt last night, the first of hopefully many. I went out by myself to a new student welcome thing. Not the same had I gone with people but nevertheless, I went out.

Seeing the old, this may have been the most hyped of all the things that I looked forward too. However, I don't think the old was all it was ever cracked up to be. I have found that my friends are malicious, back-stabbing, and betrayers of each other. I have friends that talk ill of another when that one is not in the room. I don't like it. I am also saddened that one of my best friends this summer, seems to have drifted away from that position in a matter of days. Come back.

I have not had much of a chance to strike out on my own again. It has only been a week. Time will only tell how well I can handle it.

I bought myself a plant today. A cactus. I named him Carl. I do not think I have much of a green thumb, so I hope I do not kill him. A cactus is not a big commitment, just the kind of thing I need. Wish me luck.