Chevalier...Mal Fet

To whom it may concern,

2007-09-30T15:50:00.000-05:00

To the girl that I have pursued:

I am done, I give up, you win.

That is to say that I am done chasing you. Though I am a runner, I cannot catch you. Though I am whole, you have broken me. Though I am gorgeous, it was not enough.

You have run too long, just out of grasp. I gave you everything I had, and you turned it down. I carried you home, I sent you to bed, and yet you see not what I am.

You never gave me the satisfaction I desire. You never gave me the time of day. You never looked at me as more than a friend. For this, I am hurt.

However, I am not saying that I will stop wanting you. If you read this, I encourage you to turn around. I encourage you to walk back to me. I encourage you to allow me to catch you.

Until that day comes, I will sit here and wait for you.

With love,
The ill-made knight

You Want Cliches? I've Got Twenty

2007-09-07T02:57:00.001-05:00

Ok, so this may sound like one of those 'So I have this friend, lets call him George...' where the friend is usually the one telling the story, but it is not.

So I have this friend, lets call him George. Well he is more of a cousin than a friend. No wait, he is my cousin. He is a senior in high school and seems to have the all too familiar cliche of a story going for him. See, he fell for his best friend. I know right. However, the case isn't that she doesn't see him that way, well he believes that see likes him too. But his problem is that she doesn't want the relationship, or at least broadcast the vibe to him all the time. This in turn discourages him and he then moves on to find another girl that is willing, all the while keeping this secret...lust for her alive. He then tells me that every time he thinks about committing himself to another girl, his best friend does something, says something that makes him forget about the other girl.

This is where George came to me. He wants to know whether or not he should wait for his friend. He wants me to tell him whether or not this girl will ever see him the same way and commit to it. He wants to move on to scene two in this horrible cliche of a teen movie.

I am at a loss. From what he tells me, this girl is amazing. She is funny, intelligent, thought provoking and extra-ordinarily pretty.
But he wants her now and she doesn't seem to want to make up her mind.

So what would you do, in George's position? Let me know and I will add you to the credits when this story is made into a movie. I think I will title it, Fucking Teenagers and Their Cliched Lives.

The New, The Old, and The Cactus

2007-09-02T00:17:00.000-05:00

So I lied, I did not write this a week ago as I planned. Sue me. Well please don't actually, because I am a poor college student.

I have been back a week now. Straight off, it is not what I hyped it to be. I looked forward to meeting new people, seeing the old, striking out on my own again. Yeah, not really so much.

Meeting people is hard for me. I am not the go out there and get them kind of guy. I am the sit back and have them come to me, kiss my ring, ask a favor of me kind of guy. Another part to my problem is that everyone has only been moved in for three days now, and I had to skip the house meeting because of work. Less than expected opprotunity. The final piece to my dilemma is that my friends, the old ones, don't seem to want to mingle and meet news ones as much as I do or in the same ways. For the record I made an attempt last night, the first of hopefully many. I went out by myself to a new student welcome thing. Not the same had I gone with people but nevertheless, I went out.

Seeing the old, this may have been the most hyped of all the things that I looked forward too. However, I don't think the old was all it was ever cracked up to be. I have found that my friends are malicious, back-stabbing, and betrayers of each other. I have friends that talk ill of another when that one is not in the room. I don't like it. I am also saddened that one of my best friends this summer, seems to have drifted away from that position in a matter of days. Come back.

I have not had much of a chance to strike out on my own again. It has only been a week. Time will only tell how well I can handle it.

I bought myself a plant today. A cactus. I named him Carl. I do not think I have much of a green thumb, so I hope I do not kill him. A cactus is not a big commitment, just the kind of thing I need. Wish me luck.

Mediocre

2007-08-12T20:25:00.000-05:00

Well, it is August 12th. Which for most of us means that school starts in about a half a month. I, personally, move back in two weeks from today. In fact, if all goes well, I should be writing another blog sitting in my cave of a computer space.

So I have two weeks left of this so called summer. Big whoop. Quick side note, how come no one says big whoop as much as they used to? I wish I could say that I had an amazing summer and I enjoyed every second of it and I am dreading to see it end, but if I did then I would be lying. This chevalier does not lie.

It is true that this was not the perfect summer. I do not believe that I have had the perfect summer yet. This summer was spent working to pay for may things. I made a good chunk of change, but I went into summer having already spent it. What did not pay for my motorcycle, is going towards school. It kinda puts a damper on working because I do not even get to spend the money however I wish.

I do not want you to think that I spent every waking minute of my summer working. I try to be too laid back to even consider something of the sort. No, I had my outings. My day trips. My weekend getaways.

Summer started out with me going to Six Flags. That trip was fun, but ended in finding out I had more work once school started.
The end of June was marked on my calendar as a reunion with friends from school. We got together to spend a day and watch the fireworks. One of the highlights no doubt.
July flew by until the last weekend when I ventured three hours on my bike to visit some friends up north.
The following weekend I went the other direction north to see my sister and another good friend. This is the weekend I think I would mark as the best one.

And now I am here. Typing. Rested for the first time in three weeks. Looking back at everything that happened. I met some new people. All of which, as far as my mind can remember, were enjoyable in some way or another. I discovered the work of a businessman. It made me want to postpone full time work for a few extra years if possible. I found out that two of my good friends split. I am curious as to how this will affect the coming year. Only time will tell. But most of all, I became closer to one of my already close friends.

There were somethings that I learned this summer that I am not sure I wanted to hear. I found out what some of my friends think of each other. It was weird spending time alone with them, what they told me seemed to be on their mind for a while now and it kind of burst out of them. It was almost insulting to hear them say it. As though they thought I felt the same way about it. But alas, these were only minor parts of my summer and I feel that I humored them without betraying the friends that they spoke of.

My thoughts are scattered now, as you may have picked out. It is summer, and that is my excuse. I look forward to the coming school year which I will chronicle for you. I look forward to the next summer, which I hope will be a little more perfect.

My World

2007-08-01T22:04:00.000-05:00

I was sitting at my desk a few minutes ago, labeling parts by the cavity number that they were molded in. I was pulling multiple shots from each cavity and was using the numbering scheme of 'cavity number-shot number'. After doing a few of these, my mind was running '7-1, 7-2, 7-3,...etc.' A few parts later my mind was running 'World 8-1, World 8-2, World 8-3, World 8-4...wait was there a world 8-4?' I was trying to remember whether or not Super Mario Bros. had 3 or four levels within each world. It is sad how my mind functions, sad but the truth.

If you know much about me you would have known that I did not play many video games growing up. Do not get me wrong, I think I played more than your average kid growing up in the nineties, but still not much based on today's standards. My parents always told us that we didn't need a Nintendo. Naturally we did need one. They didn't want us playing video games all the time. I think part of it was that they couldn't afford one. But alas, they finally broke down and found us not one, but two of them used, but cheap. We had our Nintendo.

My parents, sticking with their notions that we did not need to play it all the time limited us to a couple hours a day. This was fine by me. Back in those days I was covered in mud and grass stains and I was red and bleeding from mosquito bites. I was an outdoor kid. Our neighborhood had a fair share of us nighttime wanderers. That I believe was good for us.

So now I wonder, how is it that my mind reverts back to Mario, when I had far more hours clocked playing outside? I never beat Super Mario Bros. and neither did my brother or sister. The only person I truly know to have beaten it while it was on a NES was my father. He did it in one long spree, no save points back in those days. I wonder if his mind ever reverts itself back to NES gaming mode?

As I grew older, my video game time increased. I had computer games that I would waste hours upon hours on. At friends houses we would widdle away sunny days indoors playing the SNES and Playstation. I still was an outdoor kid. I loved to run and be free. But my surroundings were growing smaller as I grew bigger, and I escaped to digital worlds.

I feel as though my childhood was wasted sitting and playing these silly games. All I got out of them was a poor set of eyes and some pop-culture references. But it worries me, if I played few video games, gradually working my way into more as I grew older, what then will our current generation turn into? My four and six year old cousins have a Wii to play with. My uncle bought it for himself, but they play just as much as I did, if not more. Those two also have been playing games on the computer ever since they could hold their head up and press a button. This worries me. It truly does. I have seen my friends, ones who I grew up with, turn into nothingness. My neighbor, a fellow nighttime wanderer, sits in his basement by the glow of his computer screen each night until four in the morning. My dad sees him as he leaves for work. I rarely see him leave the house on his own accord, when he does he is hauling his computer with him over to some LAN party where he will, no doubt, sit and play more games.

I know the horrors of video game addiction. It was only this past year when I could be found sitting by my computer questing in an MMORPG. I left Breseis, my level 52 Night Elf Druid, in a state of dormancy. Yes dormancy, merely asleep. I know that the urge to take her out questing will come again, she only waits for my to click the button to login. But, thankfully for now that time is not ripe.

So now, I will declare for all the world to see. My kids will play less video games than my cousins. Less video games than my neighbor. Less video games than I myself ever played. I want then to be active. I want them to be able to distinguish between a sunburn and a tan. They will be athletic, but not jocks (I cannot stand jocks). So if my future wife is out there reading this, be warned of how our kids will grow...and give me a call so I can stop looking for you.

But for now I must get back to work. My World 7-2 cavities await. But when I get home I will run into the night like I just double tapped right on the D-Pad.

As Clean as Paper...Before the Poem

2007-07-09T22:11:00.000-05:00

Oh no, it happened again...She's cool, she's hot, she's my friend.

Way back when I started this blog, I wrote me a post telling all of you what I wanted in life. It, to me, seemed simple. I wanted the house, and the wife and I do not believe too much else. I think, because this dream, this wish, this desire is so simple; my mind is set to find it easily. And now I have come to realize that I fall in love to easily.

Take for example, Friday. I recieved a call from a high school friend, a crush, one of my easy loves. We were very good friends, our personalities just fit. I had one of the biggest crushes on her, and I do believe that if she had asked, I would have dumped my girlfriend on the spot for her. If I had a girlfriend now, I wouldn't doubt I would do the same thing.

But anyway, she called me on Friday and we had a good chat (seeing as how we had not talked since I called her to wish her a happy birthday). In the midst of our conversation she made one litte comment about how she was worried about living with her boyfriend next year, incase something went wrong. She feared she would be the one that would get screwed. But this thought started a fire in me.

All this past weekend I caught myself wishing, willing her and her boyfriend to break up. Is it wrong to wish ill upon a friend for your own happiness? Because I thought about it, and I truly wish them to split. It would give me an opprotunity that I have not had in a long time. I would take my knowledge aquired from this past year, knowlegde telling my to move on instinct, and I would move.

But alas, they have not broken up, at least not that I have heard. Though I did receive a missed call from her yesterday while I was working, though I doubt that it was to inform me of a break-up. Come to think of it though, she did say I was one of her few friends she still talks to. No, Chevalier, put the thought out of your mind.

Alas, I ask, what do you think? Have you found yourself in a similar situation?

I was born...to be wild.

2007-06-24T22:01:00.000-05:00

I bought myself a motorcycle.

It is nice to see that in writing. It is true. Two weeks ago I became the owner of a brand new Nighthawk. I needed something a little more reliable than my car seeing as how that thing is in its 17th year. I also wanted something that will get my money's worth at the pump, and at 80 miles to the gallon I think I made a good choice.

I had for about a year now wanted to get a motorcycle. I have always been a fan of riding bikes, though I had never been on a motorcylce. I toyed with the idea last summer and looked around. Everything seemed out of my price range and my ability. However, when I got to school things changed. Everytime I walked to and from my Sociology class with a fellow classmate, I saw the bike sitting there. I became obsessed with it. We also joked that it was the property of our professor, which if you had known him it would have been a little funny.

The obsession grew into me pricing one of these bikes, brand new. Yet again, it grew when I found out that the bike was within my price range. Around the beginning of this calendar year i decided that I was going to own this bike, brand new. Only two obstacles stood in my way.

Obstacle Number 1
My parents. For years I had mentioned getting a motorcycle. I am not sure how serious they took me. But they always told me that as long as I was living in their house, a bike was off limits. Well now I was in college and only living with them a fourth of the year. But I also needed to persuade them to co-sign a loan for me. Which they agreed to after I made my grown up case.

Obstacle Number 2
I had never ridden a bike before. I did not know how to ride. My first thought was to have a friend teach me. When i first contacted him he agreed to this. However, a month later on a follow up I found out that he had sold his bike, apparently he had joined the military and bikes were not allowed on bases so he sold. This almost crushed my plans. But I heard about a training course you can take through the DMV. I signed myself up for the class. It took three days. I learned to ride and got my license later that week. The day after, I went and picked up my bike.

Now I have a bike. Every time I get on it, I am scared to death. There is something about being on a vehicle with nothing surrounding you while going sixty miles an hour that scares you. That along with my visions of me crashing with every vehicle that passes me. I worry and worry all throughout my trips. I honestly do not know if I will ever get used to the feeling.

Oh, I always wear my helmet.

It's Mid-Year Already

2007-06-02T20:00:00.001-05:00

It is June 6th. Just over half way through the year. I figured I would stop by here post a little and give you an update on the life and New Years resolutions.

Life is still going, which is good. I finished my first year at the univeristy a couple of weeks back. I beleive I passed all my classes, though I am still waiting on two final grades. I have to admit, exams are a little more stressful when your grade solely depends on it. I came home, moved my stuff back into my room, and continued with life. Yet life is not the same.

I think readjusting to hamoe life may take a while yet. I am having trouble I noticed, I even set my room up like a dorm room; only missing a mini-fridge. I have no desires to see the people that I left here, or that left here with me. In the year apart, we grew apart. Instead I long for next school year when I will see my new friends. I did venture out to a few high school events, though I felt like an ass. College mellowed me. I am much more calm than I ever was, and I think when I talk to people who weren't there for the transformation think I am being an asshole that doesn't care about their petty lives (and secretly I do not). Yet life lives on.

I did, upon returning, start up my work. I am back at the nursing home on the weekends. I realized that I have been there for almost four years now, which makes me the part-timer that has been there the longest. Saddening if you know what it is like. However, on the weekends I make my way to my grown up job. I still work at the factory where I worked last summer, where I am guaranteed work as part of my scholarship. However, I am no longer an operator. I have been moved up to an intern position. Which means that I sit in a cubicle eight hours a day and fill in spread-sheets. After two weeks of working, I can honestly say that I hate spread-sheets.

On to New Years resolutions. If you are anything like the person I used to be, you would have forgotten about these already...even more likely you didn't make any to begin with. However, I made three this year and heres a little status update for you.

#1: Find happiness, preferably with another
I was well on the way with this one. Though some may have figured from my posts that it left me feeling all torn-up inside. However, as is the way in these tales, it did not end up the way that I hoped. History repeated itself. We are now just good friends. But alas, I still have the next six months.

#2: Become a voice of 91.7 FM Student Radio in Madison
This one was simple. I went through the training program, and completed it. Now all I need to do is apply for a show next semester and I should have this one accomplished. I will let you know.

Finally
#3: Save some cash
I believe I was doing this one well. I had about double the most amount of money I had ever had. But, I am unfortunately a compulsive buyer. Within the past month I have spent around $1K and at the end of this week I am buying a motorcycle. So I guess you could say that so far I ahev failed. But the year is only half done with. Also, I am working two jobs this summer and I have two jobs next year at school. Which should allow me to save up a good $5K.

So that is life for me as of late. Let me know what you think.

Cigs?

2007-05-10T00:34:00.000-05:00

So here is a bit of an internal struggle.

I hate cigarettes and smoking and the fact that people are addicted to something so stupid. However, the past few months I have had this urge to try it. None of my friends smoke, so I was not able to bum a smoke off of them. I am too cheap to go out and buy a pack, just for the sake of smoking one (though I was extremely temped at numerous points but didn't have the cash on me thankfully).

But today, on my way back from work, a pack came into my possession. I know most of you will think this is gross, but I found it on the ground. The box was there and I kicked it, and it had weight to it, so I snatched it. It wasn't full, it had fourteen of its twenty inside still. Camels, what I would have bought.

So now, everything that may have hindered me seems to have passed. I know my friends dissapprove, but hell with them 'cause I do what I want.

I worry though, if I smoke one, I will smoke them all and in turn become addicted to them. But I think I am going to do it, just the one. To see. If you have any objections please tell me, don't bother telling me statistics 'cause I've heard them too. I will take comments to heart.

I'd go the whole wide world...

2007-04-30T13:57:00.000-05:00

When I was a young boy, my momma she said to me:
There's only one girl in the world for you
And she probably lives in Tahiti
Or maybe in the Bahamas
where the Caribbean sea is blue
Weepin' away in the tropical night
because nobody's told her 'bout you...

Recently my I was around my friends when they had one other friend read through a simple childrens book, hoping that she would see the message that was embedded within. I know that she was having trouble at the time with making a few decisions in life, call it a hunch. Anyway, the book was passed on to me when she finished, I was curious as to what this message was. The book was The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein. I managed to find the text online, which I have brought here for you.

It was missing a piece.
And it was not happy.
So it set off in search of its missing piece.
And as it rolled it sang this song-
"Oh I'm lookin' for my missin' piece
I'm lookin' for my missin' piece
Hi-dee-ho, here I go,
Lookin' for my missin' piece."

Sometimes it baked in the sun
but then the cool rain would come down.
And sometimes it was frozen by the snow
but then the sun would come and warm it again.
And because it was missing a piece it could not roll very fast so it would stop to talk to a worm
or smell a flower
and sometimes it would pass a beetle
and sometimes the beetle would pass it
and this was the best time of all.
And on it went, over oceans
"On I'm lookin' for my missin' piece
Over land and over seas
So grease my knees and fleece my bees
I'm lookin' for my missin' piece."
through swamps and jungles
up mountains
and down mountains

Until one day, lo and behold!
"I've found my missin' piece," it sang,
"I've found my missin' piece
So grease my knees and fleece my bees
I've found my..."
"Wait a minute," said the piece.
"Before you go greasing your knees
and fleecing your bees..."
I am not your missing piece.
I am nobody's piece.
I am my own piece.
And even if I was somebody's missing piece
I don't think I'd be yours!"
"Oh," it said sadly,
"I'm sorry to have bothered you."
And rolled on.
It found another piece
but this one was too small.
And this one was too big
this one too sharp
and this one too square.
One time it seemed to have found the perfect piece
but it didn't hold it tightly enough
and lost it.
Another time it held too tightly
and broke.
So on and on it rolled,
having adventures
falling into holes
and bumping into stone walls.

And one day it came upon another piece that seemed to be just right.
"Hi," it said.
"Hi," said the piece.
"Are you anybody else's missing piece?"
"Not that I know of."
"Well, maybe you want to be your own piece?"
"I can be someone's and still be mine."
"Well, maybe you don't want to be mine."
"Maybe I do."
"Maybe we won't fit...."
"Well..."
"Hummm?"
"Ummmm!"
It fit!
It fit perfectly!
At last! At last!
And away it rolled
and because it was now complete,
it rolled faster and faster.
Faster than it had ever rolled before!
So fast that it could not stop to talk to a worm
or smell a flower
too fast for a butterfly to land.
But it could sing its happy song,
at last it could sing "I've found my missing piece."
And it began to sing-
"I've frown my nizzin' geez
Uf vroun my mitzin' brees
So krease ny meas
An bleez ny drees
Uf frown..."
Oh my, now that it was complete it could not sing at all.
"Aha," it thought.
"So that's how it is!"
So it stopped rolling...
and it set the piece down gently,
and slowly rolled away
and as it rolled it softly sang-
"Oh I'm lookin' for my missin' piece
I'm lookin' for my missin' piece
Hi-dee-ho, here I go,
Lookin' for my missin' piece."
(Shel Siverstein 1981)

It is kinda lengthy, and I am not positive if that is the full story, but nevertheless I believe that everyone should read that one at least once in their life. They should read it and reflect on it. When I read it, I took it one of the two ways that I have heard. What I saw was Mr. Silverstein telling us that you won't be complete. It may be what you want most, and what would make you happiest of all, but you will never be complete. At the time of reading this, I instantly became depressed. Will I ever be happy? Am I not supposed to be loved or find love? This was not the message that I wanted to hear from a childrens book.

My friend, who was the one that was supposed to read this said she got a similar message as me. Maybe we were both looking for the same sort of thing, and this book crushed our dreams. Oh the irony looking back... However, our friends proceeded to explain it to us as they had read it. The message they got out of it was that you are perfect how you are. You may search and search for what you so desire, but that will never make you more complete. Now I may not be a smart man, but I would say that this may have been the message we were supposed to get out of the story. But I would also say that it may be more than coincidence that two people got a completely different message out of it.

I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
just to find her
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
to find out where they hide her

I guess it must be my mindset as of late that made me read one thing instead of another. Its been a busy past two weeks. In my pursuit of happiness, I was turned down for the time being. My heart drops just writing that. But I have grown up this week. I took many a new steps. I did something that I have avoided all year, I made a résumé. All year I have wanted to apply for jobs, but refrained because I didn't want to go through the trouble of making the résumé. But now I have made one, and it is saved. Though hopefullly I will get the job that I needed the résumé for. Pray for me.

Another step I took was an odd one. Odd in the sense that I never considered doing this before. I went insurance shopping. I have always been covered, I think, by my parents insurance. But when I told them I was getting myself a motorcycle, I was told I would have to cover myself with my own insurance. It is a weird feeling. I feel grown up, far too grown up.

It has been a busy two weeks, full of letdowns and growing ups. But I guess that is life.

Why am I hanging around in the rain out here
Tryin' to think of a girl
Why are my eyes fillin' up with these lonely tears
When there's girls all over the world?
Or is she lying on a tropical beach somewhere
Underneat the tropical sun
Hiding away in the heat wave there
Hopin' that I won't be long?

Virginia Tech...It happens once again...

2007-04-16T15:01:00.000-05:00

Today, April 16, 2007, the nation is once again subject to horrific events. Sometime this morning (roughly 7:15 east coast time) on the campus of Virginia Tech thrity-two people are dead, thirty-one vitims and one shooter. Many more people are wounded between the two locations of the shooting. This is the largest school shooting in fifty years. Those are the details I have heard from news reporters and the cell phone videos I saw upon the news. These images are accompanied with the title of a "horrific event" and "the worst school shooting in US history".
This story really hits home for me. I am a college student. This shooting happened in a college. See the link? But seriously. It makes one wonder who this shooter was, what kind of person he/she was. Do I live with that kind of person? Is my roommate planning a mass killing of his own? What I fear more is that people would expect me to be this kind of person. On a regular basis I get a stream of remarks implying that my friends think that I am an asshole/jerk/dick/etc. Do they now fear me, after I have seen the "bravery" of another individual? Do my friends know so little about me that they would think that, or do I know so little about my friends that I am wary of them?
But now it seems to have subsided, at least that is for today. I pray to my God that nothing happens tommorow or the next day as a result of today. But now, the events are finished and it is time for really horrific events to start.

Please, do not get me wrong. I do not think that there is any thing good about what happened this morning. Please understand that I truly believe this was a horrible event, but I believe that what will follow is more horrible. I speak of what makes me question why I am a pre-journalism major. I speak of what I think about when I look in the mirror each day, when I look into myself to see if I am what becomes of a journalism major.
My qualm is with the media. I have always had a problem with how it works around tragic events. In specific, I have a problem with the longevity of coverage on a single event. Yes, I know the events were tragic. Yes, I know that many people suffered unjustly. Yes, I know the public has a right to know what happened. But I do not believe that the public needs to be reminded 24/7 for the two to three weeks following a major event. I do believe that if something new developes then yes we should be informed. But during that informing, we do not need an entire recap of what happened because chances are that we heard the story origionally when or around the time that it happened. Tell us the new facts and be done with it.
I remember September 11th. I remember hearing while I was in the locker room changing for gym class in 7th grade. I remember the teacher putting on the news during Language Arts/Social Studies so we could hear the details. Those are the details I remember. The ones I heard when they were new. There is no need to replay them. I also remember hearing on the news that night that some of the elderly and a few others who were not quite in their right mind that day thought that the attacks happened more than once. The reporter went on to say that it was because of the repeated showing of the clip of the plane hitting the towers. So obviously the press knew they were doing something wrong, they openly admitted that what they were doing resulted in something bad.

Sadly I can say with confidence that ever since and ever after this kind of thing has and will happen over and over. This is what worries me about me being a pre-journalism major. Will I end up being forced to cover something long beyond its necessity? Only time will tell.

There is nothing to do in my town.

2007-04-09T22:27:00.000-05:00

I have two topics I want to talk about. One is a reflection/story type, the other is a rant. My rant isn't too long, so I think I will just tack it on at the end.

There is nothing to do in my town. How many of you have ever said this? I would find myself lucky if I were to find a person who has never been bored with their town. I have said it from time to time, even though I thoroughly enjoyed growing up where I did. I was content to stay at home and watch some TV instead of going out and spending money.
However, this past week, during my spring break I ventured two hours away to visit a lady-friend from school for the day. After we ate a meal, the question of 'what do you want to do' came into play. Had I been in my home turf I would have offered an idea of sorts, but since it was her turf I turned it back to her. I believe her immediate response was something along the lines of 'I don't know, there is nothing to do here.' But that's the thing, there is so much to do and you've just done it all.
I see this large town and think, 'Oh the places I can go.' It was a new city into which I had never ventured before. Novelty was still there. She could have said that there was this amazing crack in the road, through wich runs a trickle of water and my response would have been 'Lets see it.' But alas, that was not so. I did enjoy seeing the sights and eating in new places and meeting new people, but I believe that she was bored with it.
So I guess all I am really trying to say is that if you have a friend to show around town, show them everything. They won't be disappointed.

Now for the rant. I don't know if people realize this, but when they tell me that they warned someone about me...it hurts. I don't have a clue what there is to warn about or even if they are serious, but people can be asses like that.

Broken Spring

2007-03-29T12:01:00.000-05:00

Its that time again. Mid-semester when the mind shuts itself down before the week is over. Personally I beleive this is just a result of classical conditioning. Around this time each year for the past thirteen years, I have had a spring break. I know that when it comes to this period, I should have a break from the studying for a week of relaxation and, well...nothing else. Due to the fact that I know this will happen en avance, my mind prepares itself for this change of pace. I bet it is to prevent itself from going into a state of shock and comotose. Nevertheless, I have been a victim of classical conditioning.

My break officially starts today at 2:15 when I walk out of the lecture that houses my Philosophy. I already have big plans. For example, today after class I plan on going home and watching last nights LOST then hanging out with friends. Oddly enough, this seems quite similar to what I always do. Nevertheless, this is a good start to a break because it is such a good start that I don't even see the change.

Fear not mortals, I have more planned than the same old same old. I plan on napping more than I usually do. I want to catch up on all the movies I have missed. With these two activities I plan to fill the space between my quote "big events". For example, Monday I am going motorcycle shopping. I cannot wait. I wonder if I will buy one this week or wait until the summer?

Tuesday I have a doctors appointment followed by the aquisition of my motorcycle temps. Fun day. Well it will be when I top it off with a track meet! For old times sake that is. Wednesday nothing, possibly a trip up north to visit someone, but I think that may be doubtful... Thursday I come home, just to watch The Office with Carolyn, because I can. Friday family outting to a Cubs game. Saturday Easter festivities chez ma grandmere.

That is my break, its all I gots. I hopefully will post about it, if something amazing happens, though it seems doubtful. Maybe I will get a rant or a rave or pure euphoria and I will need to post. We'll see...

J'ai honte

2007-03-18T10:55:00.000-05:00

"What are you doing there?" he said to the tippler, whom he found settled down in silence before a collection of empty bottles and also a collection of full bottles.
"I am drinking," replied the tippler, with a lugubrious air.
"Why are you drinking?" demanded the little prince.
"So that I may forget," replied the tippler.
"Forget what?" inquired the little prince, who already was sorry for him.
"Forget that I am ashamed," the tippler confessed, hanging his head.
"Ashamed of what?" insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him.
"Ashamed of drinking!" The tipler brought his speech to an end, and shut himself up in an impregnable silence.
And the little prince went away, puzzled.
"The grown-ups are certainly very, very odd," he said to himself, as he continued on his journey.

I Bleed American

2007-03-13T11:06:00.000-05:00

This morning, upon waking, I went to switch my Monday books with my Tuesday books in my backpack and for some reason or another I ended up in a pocket I do not visit often. Inside this pocket I found a DVD that my father handed to me when I went off to college. This DVD was one that my father authored specifically for me. I wish I could say that it contained life lessons that he felt I should know, but it does not. I wish it could say that it was clips of all my friends and family wishing me the best of luck in college, it does not. It does, however, tell me how much my parents care. It is a movie that my father made that consisted of pictures of me throughout the years from my birth up until graduation day. I know they spent hours upon hours working on it while I was at school and work. Now I look at the copy I have and wonder, why is it shattered?

Me being the person I am, I chose to look at it metaphorically. I look at what my life used to be and only see the shattered remains. Whereas my parents can look at it still and see it how they remember it. But they do not know how college has changed me. They do not know how I swore off alcohaul, only to give in from time to time. They do not know how I suffer this year. They cannot begin to see how lost I have become. They can still look at it and see the smiling face that they have known for the past 19 years. I cannot look back on these memories, my memories are shattered.

When I was growing up, I swore off alcohaul and drugs and smoking. I have older siblings and I learned from viewing from afar. I saw what happened with my siblings when they became involved in these ongoings and I knew I wanted nothing to do with it. I stuck to that. I made it clear to everyone too, and that helped more that you will know. Graduation, however, took its toll on me. The day of, I was exposed to my friends drinking for the first time. This happened maybe two or three times over the summer. Come college, though, I am now around it all the time. People drink in the hallways of our dorm from time to time, my neighbors stand outside the door and smoke. I have been to parties where my coat came away stoned. Hard as I try, I cannot find friends that do not partake in these activities. At the beginning of the year I had them, but as time went on I lost them to their own expirmentation. Which in turn led me to my own. However, I prefer to think that I drink with class. I only drink wine and I don't have more than a glass. Fortunately, not many people like wine at all and therefore they do not keep it on hand. I am temped little. Keeps me thinking I am noble or something. We will see how long this lasts.

Suffering comes in far too many forms. It would be nice if we only suffered in a handful of ways, that way we can learn to avoid those few situations. But alas, life is so. Just in an instant I can think of a handful of the predominant ways in which college has made me suffer. For instance, I have hunger. It is a deep hunger that cannot be filled by a single meal, nor a single day of meals, not even a single week of meals. Truth be told, I am poor. I do not have the money to eat all I want and still afford to attend college. Therefore my diet is limited to the "cheap" items upon the menu. Ask anyone who I eat lunch with regularly and they can tell you that my lunch, a lunch of champions, consists of a bowl of fries, a cupcake and a glass of ice water. This does not fill me and I suffer so.

I walk. Wind, shine, stormy weather. There is no other convienent form of transportation on campus. Buses only get you so far, bikes are stored for the winter, jetpacks require a lot of gasoline. So I, along with everyone whos parents did not buy us a moped and or pay for some other form of transportation am limited to the ground. It is true, I have gotten used to it, all the walking that is, but that does not mean I enjoy it at any rate. I am tense when I walk, I do not relax and enjoy what I see, no joy there. In the past few months we have had temperatures increase 80 degrees and are now at a cool 50 degrees. I do not enjoy the thought of that. I have found that shoes without any support are not best for this ammount of walking either. My feet have a soreness that extends into the bone and shows no intention of leaving even with a week of being off my feet. However, life must go on. I have arranged for a slight ease on my transportation for next year. I voyagerai par motorcycle.

I look around as I write this and wonder, "What am I doing here? This has nothing to do with what I want to do with my life. Well, I guess that isn't true...I do not know what I want to do with my life, but seriously...this?" I used to know what I wanted to be and why. That knowledge has since left me and I cannot recall it for the life of me. But this? No I do not want to do this. I am considering just leaving, maybe I will. It is more than just my studies that I do not know anymore. I used to think I knew exactly what I wanted in every aspect of life. I had the job figured out. I knew my car. I knew the kind of girl I wanted to marry where to live with her and how many kids to have. Jobs are limited. Cars from the early 80's are not practical. The girls that I thought I wanted do not exist unless it is to taunt you and no more.

I used to know what I wanted. I used to be warm and transported comfortably. I used to be full. I used to be the model straight-edge. I used to be nutured and cared for. I used to young. I used to be smiling.

Now, now I am not. I do not know what I am, other than going to walk out of a lecture in a second and try to find out. Hope to be able to write again.

Good Guys Finish Last

2007-02-17T01:24:00.000-06:00

"Danny, you know what? You're a good guy." A far too common cry as of late. Do not get me wrong, I would rather be the good guy than the asshole. But here is the thing, girls don't want the good guy until they have found all the bad guys to break their hearts.

I am the friend. I listen to the girls when they have problems with the bad guys. I give them advice only to have it ignored. I make sure they get home in one piece even after a night of them hanging on every guy at the party but me. I want them to be happy.

This concept has been around far too long without a set explanation as to why. That is what I want to know. I want to know why these girls avoid us good guys. I want to know why they do not see that they already have what they look for in a guy. I want to know why not me?

If there are any girls who read this and know any of the answer, or even just a thought that might explain...please tell. It would help a bunch of us good guys feel a little better about ourselves.

Prof Named Pat

2007-02-08T11:43:00.000-06:00

Foe-hawk. Verticle and horizontal striped button-up shirt. Band t-shirt beneath. Olive colored courdoroys. This is my Comp Sci prof. Dresses like a man. Walks like a man. Talks like a man. But since when is a man named Rebecca?

My Comp Sci prof is of the female gender. I do not think she is a girl. It must be how programmers are bred. Male. No, not bred. I think it must be a graduation requirement. Male. I look around me and I see seventeen chicks in class and seventy-two guys. Male dominance. If I really wanted to I could give you a breakdown of ethnicity and my personal judgement of dorkiness to add to the statistics, but that is not my focus.

I wonder, how many of the seventeen chicks in class with me will continue with their Comp Sci training and end up being one of the guys? Judging by how they look, there are only a handful that have already decided to be Comp Sci majors.

I bring this up because I wonder if it is the person that defines a proffesion, or rather if it is the profession that defines a person.

I move to my next example. French 204. My TA happens to be a young (I would guess mid-twenties), attractive, France native. So atractive that I even caught myself checking her left ring-finger for a ring. There was not one. By the way, when she speaks English, she has an amazing accent. She dresses almost as a coastie. Each day she has her Uggs. She has her "fashioable" clothing. Topped off with costie makeup and hairstyle.
I would also like to add in a quick description of my prof from French 203H last semester, but only because it was a guy and this proffession seems to have multiple gender capabilities. My prof last semester was in his early-mid thirties. He had a body that appeared as though he tries to keep it in shape but age is starting to take its toll on him. He seemed really laid back in his teaching style. Lastly, he came off as a bit gay.

Quick review. Programmers tend to be male. Female French majors tend to be fashionable, young, cute, the works. Male French majors tend to be laid back and gay. Side note: the information I draw these conclusions from extends beyond the case studies seen here.

So I now question if the person makes the proffesion or if the profession makes the person.
If you ask me, the profession makes the person. There will always be exceptions, but this is the conclusion I have reached. All Comp Sci majors I know seem to have the same style. All Frech majors I know seem to have the same style. But this rule so far can only be applied to French and Comp Sci majors. All other areas I have studied I either do not have enough cases to compare or I have only had generic teachers teaching me the subject.

I now need to take a few more philosophy classes to decide whether or not this rule is universal. I need to see if all of them are boring and intriguing at the same time. I need to see if all Sociology majors inspire entire four hundred lecture sections to learn, or if it was just one.

Maybe someday I will know for sure. Maybe I will know from my own life. Maybe becoming a Journalism major will change me. Maybe I will see that it isn't that I am going to be changed, I have always been what I need to be for a Journalism major.

MIA No More

2007-02-08T11:21:00.000-06:00

I must apologize. I have been busy lately and not had time to update. Between school work and some other side projects I have just been too swamped with things to have time.

One of my current projects is my new blog. http://facebooksniper.blogspot.com. I realized that Facebook has a plethora of pictures on it. True story. My plan is to find the pictures of people looking stupid while drinking and turn them into cartoons. So far I have about a weeks worth of pictures if I update each day. I think that may be changed to each week day, just to keep my sanity. But all of you reading this post, if you haven't already, go to the new blog and check it out. I would also like some feedback. Make sure you send your friends there too.

I am happy to state that I am currently sitting next to my roommate for the next school year. If you do not know the story, I will give you a brief overview. I originally planned to live with one of my buddies from high school. But we couldn't decide on which dorm to live in. He want his current one, and I mine. So that is what we are doing, leaving me without a roommate. But a guy who lives down the hall from me and is in my Comp Sci class didn't have a roommate either. Now we each have a roommate. Makes sense no?

Currently I am really pissed. Most likely my current muse. Last semester someone stole my Cubs hat for a few months and demanding some unknown for me to get it back. I eventually got it back because her roommate brought it back. So this semester I stole some stupid thing she keeps on her desk, costing less than $5. It is hidden, quite well if I do say so myself, inside my room. Well, she started acting like a little kid and started threatening me. Threw a few minor fits. And last night she came to tell me while I was at work that she was planning on stealing my laptop. Turns out she didn't steal it, just created the crappiest background I have ever seen and added a password.
Being me and knowing what I know, I was able to get rid of the password in twenty minutes. It would have been sooner but I have never had to deal with this before so I had to do a little bit of research.
If there is someone reading this that can relay a message. In some way or another let her know that she has pissed off the volcano and this means war. Not cutesy, petty war either.

That is all of the news updates I have lately. I would like to inform you that when I get a chance I have three topics to talk about on here; professors, Vista, and I can't remember the third but it is on the desktop of my Desktop back in the dorm. I think I might start typing one once I post this just to waste some time.

Da Bears!

2007-02-03T10:21:00.000-06:00

Because the Bears are going to the Super Bowl tomorrow night, I have been getting a lot of Bears related emails (mostly from my mom) and I though they should be shared with you.

Q. What kind of gift do you get Devin Hester?
A. Nothing, he's just going to return it.

While at the Fountain Blue Hotel in Miami, a Bears fan is trapped in an elevator with an angry lion, a hungry alligator, and an Indianapolis Colts fan. The Bears fan also has a gun with only two bullets. To survive, who does the Bears Fan shoot?Answer: The Colts fan, TWICE!!

Lovie Smith was seated in front at a Colts press conference. when the Colts coach asked if there were any questions, Lovie said "I heard a great Colts joke, do you want to hear it?" The coach said, "Lovie, look to your left, that's our defensive end. He's 300 pounds and easily irritated. Now look behind you and to your right...both are defensive tackles for the Colts and could beat up anyone. Now, are you sure you want to tell that Colts joke?" Lovie looked at each player, saw how mad they looked and said "Nope! I don't want to have to explain it three times!"

Q. What is the difference between the Colts and Cheerios?
A. Cheerios BELONG in a bowl.
Q: What's the difference between the Indianapolis Colts and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: What do the Indianapolis Colts and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a blue and orange sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Bears logo flag, and in every window, a Chicago Bears towel. Peyton looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even went to the Hall of Fame."God said, "So what's your point, Peyton?""Well, why does Rex Grossman get a better house than me?"God chuckled, and said: "Peyton, that's not Rex's house, it's mine."GO BEARS!!!

A man had 50-yard line tickets for the Bears NFC championship game. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he says, "The seat is empty.""This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Championship game and not use it?""Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first game we haven't gone to together since we got married in 1949.""Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

In honor of the Chicago Bears going to Super Bowl 41. Here are 41 things that have changed from the last time the Chicago Bears played in the Super Bowl (which was Super Bowl 20 in 1986):
1. Brian Urlacher was in 2nd grade. Rex Grossman was in kindergarten.
2. Peyton Manning was 10 years old. Eli Manning was 5 years old. Thier dad, Archie, had just retired from the NFL two years earlier.
3. Lovie Smith was in his first college coaching job at University of Tulsa.
4. Ronald Reagan was the President, and Harold Washington was the Mayor. James R. Thompson was the Governor running for re-election and his office was in the new State of Illinois Center, which is now called the James R. Thompson Center.
5. George W. Bush was 39 years old and still drinking. His father would run for President two years later.
6. Rod Blagojevich was just out of law school and was a low-level prosecutor working for the Cook County State's Attorney, Richard M.Daley.
7. Barack Obama had just moved to Illinois, and Osama bin Laden was fighting the Soviets in Afghanistan.
8. Red Grange and Sid Luckman were still alive.
9. The Colts had just moved to Indianapolis from Baltimore and were the doormat of the AFC EAST. The Bears were the champions of the NFC CENTRAL.
10. Property in Wicker Park and Bucktown was cheap because they were really bad neighborhoods.
11. CD players, cellular phones and fax machines were expensive,cutting edge technology and only a few people used them.
12. "Surfing the net" meant a volleyball game at the beach, and virtually no one used the "@" key on their TYPEWRITER.
13. Sam Walton was still alive and was wealthier than Bill Gates. Windows were panes of glass...not a computer operating system that was a pain in something that rhymes with glass.
14. The Soviet Union was our main enemy, and Saddam Hussein was our ally.
15. There were no lights at Wrigley Field, and the oldest park in baseball belonged to the White Sox.
16. Michael Jordan and Ozzie Guillen had just finished their "Rookie of the Year" seasons. Jordan's coach was Stan Albeck and Guillen's manager was Tony LaRussa. (Three out of four of those guys are now wearing championship rings, but what ever happened to Stan Albeck???)
17. Soldier Field had Astro Turf. The Houston Oilers played in the Astro Dome.
18. The Fox TV Network didn't exist, and ESPN had yet to air a single live pro football, baseball, or basketball game.
19. MTV played music and so did some AM radio stations.
20. Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff weren't born yet; Jackie Gleason and Richard Nixon were still alive.
21. Hillary Clinton had dark hair and was the First Lady......of Arkansas!
22. "The Love Boat" and "Diff'rent Strokes" were still on network TV every week.
23. Martin Luther King Day was about to be celebrated as a National Holiday for the first time. "9-11" was just a phone number as many cities were just adopting for emergency calls - not a date of terror.
24. I-88 was called "Illinois Rt. 5" and I-355 hadn't been built yet.
25. What the CTA now calls "The Blue Line" had just been extended to O'Hare, and the Orange Line to Midway hadn't been built yet.
26. Q101 played adult contemporary music and most teenagers listened to WLS. Music from the 70s and 80s wasn't "retro" yet.
27. Tiger Woods hadn't won an amateur golf tournament yet.
28. Most people knew Seattle just as a city in the Northwest U.S. - not the home of grunge or Starbucks.
29. Only Southerners went to NASCAR races and only Northerners went to NHL games.
30. The Chicago area had no Wal-Marts, Targets or Home Depots, and Walgreens was only in the Midwest.
31. Depending on your bank, your ATM card was good at only "CashStation" machines or only at "Money Network" machines, but there were no fees.
32. "The Phone Company" was Illinois Bell.
33. They still sold leaded gasoline and you couldn't pay for your gas at the pump.
34. Discover Card hadn't been discovered yet, and Miller Genuine Draft hadn't been brewed yet.
35. Stereo TVs were the rage that HDTVs are now. 8-track tapes were still being made.
36. All of the Blockbuster Video stores that are now closing hadn't opened yet. Betamax was still competing with VHS.
37. You paid cash for your groceries and fast food, and you used a travel agent to book airline flights.
38. Bowl games didn't have corporate sponsors, and if the #1 ranked team was in a conference that played in one bowl game and the #2 ranked team was in a conference that played in another bowl game, then so be it! They let the sportswriters vote on the national champion. (and no college football games were played after New Year's Day)
39. The Baltimore Ravens were the Cleveland Browns. The Tennessee Titans were the Houston Oilers. The Oakland Raiders were the Los Angeles Raiders that had just left Oakland. The Arizona Cardinals (the former Phoenix Cardinals) were the St. Louis Cardinals, and the St. Louis Rams were the Los Angeles Rams. The Jacksonville Jaguars, Carolina Panthers,Houston Texans, and the Cleveland Browns (not to be confused with the Cleveland Browns that are now the Baltimore Ravens) didn't exist. The Seattle Seahawks (last year's NFC Champions) played in the AFC.
40. Number 9 on the Bears was their Punky QB...not their perky fieldgoal kicker.
41. There were no iPods - just Sony Walkmen - so if you said something about a "shuffle" on your Walkman, they assumed you were listening to"The Super Bowl Shuffle"

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Indianapolis Colts fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Colts fans too. Not really knowing what a Colts fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.
There is, however, one exception. Susie has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.ÂBecause IÂm not a Colts fanÂ she reports. ÂThen,Â asks the teacher,Âwhat are you?Â ÂIÂm a Chicago Bears fan!Â boasts the little girl. The teacher asks Susie why she is a Bears fan. ÂWell, my Dad and Mom are Bears fans, so IÂm a Bears fan tooÂ she responds. ÂThatÂs no reason,Â the teacher says. ÂWhat if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?Â
Susie smiles and says, ÂA Colts fan.Â

(AP) -The COLTS football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Tony Dungy immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again...

One day, while driving along, I saw a priest. I thought I would do a good deed, so I pulled over and asked the priest,
"Where are you going Father?"
"I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the road," replied the priest.
"Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!"
The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and we continued down the road. Suddenly, I saw a Green Bay fan walking down the road, with that "G" shirt on and I instinctively swerved as if to hit him but, as usual, I swerved back into the road just in time.
Even though I was certain that I had missed the guy, I still heard a loud "THUD."
Not understanding where the noise came from, I glanced in my mirrors but still didn't see anything. I then remembered the priest, and turned to the priest and said,
"Sorry Father, I almost hit that Green Bay fan."
"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."

Todd

2007-01-27T04:02:00.000-06:00

I don't knonw who you are Todd, nor what your problems may be, but tonight I envy you and those.

I have no heart...true story...

2007-01-26T19:51:00.000-06:00

“I got soul but I’m not a soldier.”
“I have no heart.”
“As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.”
“I have a black hole in place of one.”
“That must suck.”
“I was quoting wizard of oz btw, the man and the movie (FYI).”
“I spend all my energy making sure that no one gets sucked into the pull of it.”
“You serious? I’m sorry it’s hard to tell sometimes.”
“It’s a difficult job, but even lacking a heart I care for others.”
“Everyone has a heart.”
“Except for me.
QUOTE:
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.”
“LOL”
“Hearts are fragile, but just because the get busted don't mean they aren’t there. They make us human.”
“Are you saying I’m not human?”
“No, I'm saying I know you have a heart.”
“I’ve explained to you that I don’t and what is in its place.”
“What happened to it?”
“Well it’s a long story. But I have time.”
“Me too, and if you're willing to share I’d be happy to listen.
“Alright then, I am ready for it. So here’s how it goes...”

It was about 10...no 12 years ago, I was on the verge of turning 6. Funny things started happening, really funny things...

A man opens a theme park where he displays his man made clones of billion year old dinosaurs, a French man kills his whole family and then tries to burn himself (though not really a funny thing in the sense of the others, but funny nonetheless), a memorial to the made up story of mass slaughtering during WWII by the Germans is erected.
Funny things were happening, I tell you, funny things.

But a little closer to home I noticed odd happenings. The most vivid happening was that Mongolia was holding its first direct presidential elections. Now I know what you are thinking, why is that so vivid? Well it just so happens that my 3rd uncle once removed son’s friend happened to be one of the nominees.

Most people would think that person is "distant" to me, but they were wrong. Me and Xiang Chin, we were like this (crosses fingers)!

Well Xiang (I call him X for short and because I cannot for the love of me figure out how to pronounce his name) wanted to be president after years of doing what? None other than being a professional groupie for Kansas (singers of the hit "Dust in the Wind")

Well when X was groupeeing, he got these strange thoughts; maybe from years of not using his own mind and living off the thoughts of others, or from the pot he smoked...we'll never know.
He started to get suspicious that Kansas was putting coded messages to former USSR high officials...his first thought was to ask them if it was true...but discarded that when he realized that if it was true, they would kill him so their secret didn’t leak.

Well he had two choices, ask around and see if anyone else stumbled onto these messages, or take the long road and find them himself.

Well X ended up smoking another J and decided to find them himself, which was the right thing to do because (though he didn’t know it) no one else had found these messages, not even the Russians.

He got lucky, on his first attempt of decoding the message (playing it in reverse, at 2/3 speed, underwater) he heard it, though it wasn’t a message he was expecting.
Kansas was sending him directions to some hidden location, or rather a man that knew a hidden location of some secret object.

Well X took down these directions, he had to piece them together from 12 different songs, and then set off to follow them.

After a long journey, almost 7 miles, X get to where the directions were leading. It was a phone booth in the back of the Chucky Cheeses, he was supposed to make a call to a number he would find written on a piece of paper shoved under the telephone.

Well when he got there, there was a man on the phone, so he waited patiently for a few minutes. Then he realized that this man wasn’t saying anything, so he tapped him on the shoulder so he could talk to him.

X tells it like it was, and from what he says it was slow motion, the man turns around slowly; reaching into his coat, the man behind him saw his face first and yelled EMILIOOOOOOOOO (BANG)! Emilio Estevez, the mighty ducks man, shot down the man behind him, and had the gun pointed at X.

X thought fast, he did the only thing he knew to do, he got down on his knees and cried. Well apparently Emilio Estevez has this thing for crying full grown men, so he cut him some slack.
He brought him back to his luxurious loft downtown, where Emilio explained his story. To make a long story short, Shoui Suzuki was out to kill him. He had somehow fallen across plans for the Japanese version of the death star (it was essentially the same except the circle that shot the planet destroying blast was only a small slit, very hard to see through.)

X never did find out how he came across these plans, but Emilio kept going back to something about being wasted with some hooker and a massive bulge in some pants...good thing X didn’t ask. Good for everyone’s sake.

Well any way, Emilio needed help, and he needed it fast. So he told X that he had two choices, either get him more people to help him fight Shoui or go home live peacefully and never worry about it again.

Luckily for Emilio, X smoked a J on the way back to the downtown loft, and agreed to the first option.

That is where I came in, X didn’t have any friends, since he was on the road with Kansas, even the groupies weren’t his friends, so he went to the closest thing to family he had left (the rest died in a very suspicious manner, something about green light then a skull with snakes coming out of the mouth made of smoke floating in the sky)

Well, I happened to be the closest thing to family, and being only six, not knowing any better, and it was my summer vacation, I went along, and oh I was bored too.

So I went with him, Emilio’s brilliant plan was to sneak into the most secure part of Shoui's palace and to confront him, luckily we had all watched enough movies and TV shows to know that it was easy, and the bad guys dropped like flies right away. Or at least without much trouble

So we make it into the deepest part of the palace, and there is Shoui, sitting on his throne, a beautiful half-naked French woman sitting on his lap and stroking his tiger.

We just waltz in, hard thing to do with three people; a lot of stepping on feet was involved. And Emilio confronts him, but before he can talk Shoui whips out some strange weapon and fires it at him, the moment I knew this would happen, I dove in front of Emilio because I had nothing to lose, the blast hits me and I go down, I was merely stunned for a moment.

But when I get up, I notice that things on the wall are starting to move, loose object on the floor are coming towards me, and Shoui yells FOOL! THAT GUN WAS BUILT TO ONLY KILL EMILIO ESTEVEZ: THE MIGHTY DUCKS MAN! If it hits anyone else, it will vaporize their heart, turning it into a black hole; you must try and block its power! So I tried and tried, and as a dagger was hurtling at me, I finally got it; I stopped the world from being sucked into the place where my heart used to be, and saved the life of Emilio Estevez: The mighty Ducks Man.

That is how I lost my heart and gained a black hole.

How sensitive is that thing!?

2007-01-19T00:23:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow, I get back into the swing of things. Until then, I live in the present.

Today was my last day of work at the nursing home over break, and I won't be back until summer. It was a slightly sad moment, but then I realize I will miss my friends there more than anything else about the place. Either way, tonight seemed to want to pass with a bang.

My jobs tonight included clearing all of the dishes in the dining room after the residents finished eating. The nights duties were moving quickly, and I had time to waste before the residents were done eating. So naturally I went to chat with one of the cooks on her break. After a few minutes we hear over the loud speaker, "Fire alarm check in double-A." This meant that a fire alarm was going off in one of the residents rooms and if your department is close to the area you have to send someone to investigate. Well, the kitchen was the closest. The cook was going to send me until I informed her that I didn't know what to do, never in my four years there had I needed to check an alarm because someone else always got to it before me. Then I see one of my fellow workers heading out (his name will go unmentioned because of questionable acts to be committed later in the story). I was told to go along with him, so I did.

Building AA was all the way down at the end of the building, so we sprinted. We sprinted past residents, through sweltering hallways and up stairs. When we got to the room we were slightly winded, because we were out of shape not because it was far. My co-worker knocked on the door. An old woman answered and questioned why we were there. As if she didn't know. When the door opened I immediately smelled something that was getting overcooked. Upon peering into the room, I saw a slight haze too. My co-worker informed her of the alarm check. Her response, "How sensitive is that thing!?" My co-worker continued to lecture her on safety and fires while I got to talk on the loud-speaker to clear the alarm-check. We then strolled back to the dining room.

I then proceeded to clear the dining room. Once I completed this I dished myself up a plate of food from the leftovers on the buffet. Technically we are not supposed to do this, but no one really cares, and plus I had only had two sushi rolls today and two truffles. I was hungry. I took my food and ate it in the store room on a comfy chair. While I was doing this my co-worker comes in and we talk a bit while I am eating. He then finds a can of cooking spray and the conversation turns to flame-throwers. He wants me to use the cooking spray and my Zippo to make a flame-thrower. Well I am not that kind of a daredevil, but he leaves the room for a minute and returns with a fireplace starter. He lights it a few times/sprays and then decides it is done, though I manage to urge him to do one last one...for fun. Then we leave because I had finished. I jokingly turn to him and say, "Wouldn't it be funny to hear 'Alarm check kitchen'?" I kid you not, ten seconds later that is what we heard. I felt the blood leave my face.

The cooks run in and I get into a predictable randomness situation (a situation where you meet someone in your walking path and you both step the same way and it continues for a bit) with one of them. The cooks start checking ovens and stoves to see what is burning. The first chance me and my co-worker get we look at each other and mouth, "It didn't happen." Eventually the cooks realize the smell came from in the store room. But they couldn't figure out what it was. Thankfully.

As we are leaving to punch out, my co-worker turns to me and asks, "How sensitive is that thing!?"

Calliope Euterpe Clio Erato Melpomene Polyhymnia Terpsichore Thalia and Urania

2007-01-14T21:33:00.000-06:00

I would like to apologize. My muses have left me as of late. I have not had the inspiration I need to write something of interest on here. I have tried, do not get me wrong. But when I write it, it doesn't have either the right sound to it or I do not have the strength to post it.

My chief muses are anger and elation, even though technically they are not muses in mythology. I do know that when I return to the dorms I will have one if not both of these muses to help me write. I can think of instances that will arise that will bring me anger, my more common muse. I also can think of an instance that will bring me elation, root for me in this case even if you do not know what it is you are rooting for.

So if there are any of you out there reading this blog and anxiously awaiting a new post each day, have no fear...I should be back to full operating capacity within a week or two.

And on a side note, if anyone is wondering this post comes out of slight elation.

Tale as old as time...

2007-01-01T13:52:00.000-06:00

This post is the vanguard for my new year.

To steal a bit from a friend of mine et sa petie valise, I would like to highlight the year past:

I was diagnosed with heavy late-onset senioritis
I finished the twelth of twelve years so I could graduate
I entered the work-force as a full-time man
I entered college leaving behind old frinds and making some new
I bought groceries, for myself
You met me
I saw for the first time with my innocent eyes under-age alchohaul consumption...and hated it
I past my first semester of college
I learned what the feeling of true loneliness feels like

Now, I look forward. I try not to dwell on what has happened, but I focus on what I will make happen.

I have never been one to make New Years Resolutions. But as I look at it, I haven't been hurt by this nor have I benefited. So this year I have set myself a few goals. Those I would like to highlight as well:

Find happiness, preferably with another
Become a voice of 91.7 FM Student Radio in Madison
Save some cash

I, assuming I remember, will return to these goals next year and give you a progress update.

Now I look forward, because "'You got to put your past behind you.' Look, kid. Bad things happen, and you can't do anything about it, right?" Year twenty in this world, what shall it bring?

Christmas...Its what it is all about...

2006-12-25T17:28:00.000-06:00

Charlie Brown: (shouting in desperation) Isn't there anyone out there who can tell me what Christmas is all about?
Linus Van Pelt: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you. Lights, please. (A spotlight shines on Linus.) "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'". That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie brown.

Save Darfur

2006-12-22T15:00:00.000-06:00

Guys, this takes about thirty seconds.
http://www.savedarfur.org

Did you know that 2.5 million people have been driven from their homes in Darfur, Sudan? Each day, they face threats that are hard for us to even imagine including rape, disease, and starvation.
These people need our help to put an end to the genocide and they need it NOW.
Please join me in taking the first step to stopping the violence. Sign the Save Darfur Coalition's petition urging President Bush and the UN Secretary-General to take immediate steps to stop the killing. Together, we can make a difference in the lives of millions of people in the region who desperately need outside help.
The Save Darfur Coalition is urging the international community to prevent further killings, displacement, and rape by deploying the UN peacekeeping force that has already been authorized, strengthening the understaffed African Union force that is already in Darfur, establishing a no-fly zone, increasing humanitarian aid, and ensuring access for delivery of food, medication and other essential supplies. Please do not stand by while the violence continues - you can make a difference.
Go to http://www.SaveDarfur.org to get involved.
Then please forward this message to your friends and family and ask them to join you.
If you'd like to make a donation to support the campaign, you can do so at: http://www.SaveDarfur.org/
Donate Thank you for your help
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Donate to Help Save DarfurHelp build the political pressure needed to end the crisis in Darfur by supporting the Save Darfur Coalition's crucial awareness and advocacy programs. Click here now to make a secure, tax-deductible online donation: http://www.SaveDarfur.org/
Donate
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The Save Darfur Coalition is an alliance of over 175 faith-based, advocacy and humanitarian organizations whose mission is to raise public awareness about the ongoing genocide in Darfur and to mobilize a unified response to the atrocities that threaten the lives of more than two million people in the Darfur region. To learn more, please visit http://www.SaveDarfur.org.
Take action now at http://www.democracyinaction.org/darfur/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=5175&t=new.dwt

What would you do...?

2006-12-19T21:06:00.000-06:00

Kevin Arnold...you inspire me. You will never know me, but I will always know you. I have spent the last six and a half hours watching you, learning about you, wishing I could have had your life.

You, like all other kids, had to go to school. You, like all other kids didn't like it most of the time. You, like all other kids, lived life to the best of your ability.

You, Kevin Arnold, had your ups. You, Kevin Arnold had your downs. What is important is you had friends. What is important is you had family. What is important is you had love.

You and Paul Pfifer knew each other since you were little. Though you tried hard at times, like the time his dad got some money that your dad missed out on, to sever this life long bond you could not. You saw Paul for who he was. You knew Paul for who he would be.

Kevin Arnold, you had a mother who loved you and a father who worked hard for you. Kevin Arnold, you had a sister who showed you a life different from your own. Kevin Arnold, you had a brother who wasn't what you were, but excelled at it. Kevin Arnold, you had a grandfather who to help himself sold you your first car and his last for a buck.

It began with Becky Slater and ended with Inga. Becky started a war with you. Inga started a peace. In between you had others, like Caroline who mourned for your grandmothers liver. In between you had others, like Kara who was like a puff of smoke...gone in an instant. In between you had others, like Julie who left you no room for Duke. But the beginning doesn't matter and the in betweens can be forgotten. It is what you walked away with that counts.

Winnie Cooper. You, Kevin Arnold, met her the day your brother locked you out in the rain. She wore her yellow rain coat and yellow rain hat. You were with her when the war took her brother. You were with her when fights took her father. You were even with her when acting brought her father home. You, Kevin Arnold, got Winnie Cooper.

Friends, family, ups, and downs. We have them all. For some of us they work, for some of us they don't. I am happy to say Kevin Arnold, for you...they work.

Is this Neverland?

2006-12-10T22:01:00.000-06:00

You just think happy thoughts, and they lift you into the air.

I found my happy thoughts. Running gives me happy thoughts. It clears my head. It lets me focus. It takes me away to another place where I do not have to grow up. It takes me away to a place where there are pirates and mermaids. It takes me away to a place where there are other lost boys. It lifts me up into the air.

"It is all the work of the ticking crocodile. Time is chasing after all of us." But I still try to run away.

L'amour...

2006-12-03T23:53:00.000-06:00

I hope that in writing this there is not too much self-loathing or any crap like that, if so...I apologize.

Time for a touchy subject. Love. L-O-V-E love. Touchy you ask? How is it touchy? From my experience love cannot be justly argued one way or another. There are some of you that believe in love; be it puppy, young, or true. There are those of you that will tell others that love cannot exist, that it is too in-tangible. And there are those of you that sit in the middle, with the pains of the chain-link fence of love in your ass. Well, I want to tell you what I think, but I do not think it is simply just yes, no, or maybe. Sorry.

I grew up with both my parents. My mom loved my dad, and my dad loved my mom. It was never a forced thing, it never felt uncomfortable. Do not hear me wrong, it was not perfect and I do not think it will be. They loved each other, but there were fights. My dad would say something and my mom would ignore my dad for a time and vice versa, though I think that my dad could carry on his lead-footed ignoring of my mom longer than my mom could my dad. This trait I have inherited, by genes or example...I do not know. But more often than these fights were the happy times. It seemed natural the way they worked. I never questioned it.

In the old days, marriages were arranged years in advanced. In the present day, this seems unjust. I cannot choose who I want to marry so my father can have a few extra acres of corn to sow each year. If you ask me, this idea breaks a law of some sort or another. However, if my marriage was arranged I would not despise it. I would embrace it (her) with open arms. You can be forced into this marriage and not like the idea, but that does not mean you cannot love her.

Here is my experience with love. For years I have loved my friends, through thick and thin. Some received more love, but...Well that's how it happened. There have been girls. One for many years who I still love to this day. I few crushes throughout middle school. Some almost and never-evers in high school along with a failed attempt. I even have my backup girl. We will wed when we are thirty if both of us are single. You are invited to the wedding if it happens. Now college brings new loves. This is the time in my life where I have found passions. I have learned to love more than people, and I understand this kind of love. What I mean to say is that there is a hierarchy of love and you are above her, but below this thing.

College have brought new opportunities. I am around the girls I know, and some that I like. But, we learn this can be a bad thing. A girl in my French class put it best, "Do not date someone who lives in the same dorm as you. You will always know where they are and what they are doing. Also do not take anthropology 227." It isn't necessarily with in the same housing structure. I found you should avoid people with similar schedules. For the same reason of course. In less than a semester I have moved through/between three girls. One showed only the interest of a good friend, which I chose to accept over nothing at all. So I moved on. Another showed enough interest, and at times too much until it was revealed that I seem to be not as good as the guy she engaged in relationship. So I moved on. A third seemed to show sincere interest. I showed it back. That is, until I found she was playing a game for her amusement that was not limited to me. Now I must move on again.

I have known for years what kind of life I want. It might have been around the time I saw The Wedding Singer for the first time. At a point in the movie, someone states that the main character has been looking forward to his wedding day since he was a child. It made me think, and I know what I would like if at all possible. I want to find genuine love. Love that can be seen by everyone, love that can be felt by everyone. I want to be so close to a girl that I do not need to say anything and she knows what I am thinking. I want to be so close to a girl that I need only to look into her sparkling eyes to see her emotions; her love, her hate, her sorrow, her joy. I want to be able to feel her when we are miles apart. I want her to have the same thing.

I know from experience that at least some of this is possible. It takes time, but to be able to talk without speaking. To know the very essence of another's thoughts just by a glance, this is conceivable to me. I have experienced it within two people, and only two people. I can talk to my mother without saying anything. I can glance at my best friend and know his thoughts. In one of the science fiction books I read, there was an attempt to put a phony scientific reasoning behind these statements. I read it and I reflected. Maybe it is possible to become so close to someone that a part of you is connected no matter where you go. I want this, I think everyone should want this. It makes you feel whole. But the third time will be the charm.

After I have my love, I want a simple life. I decided years ago that I do not need fame nor fortune to be happy. Just another. I do not need a big house nor fancy car. I just need one of each. I want a small house in the quiet town of no-name America. I want a job that pays the bills and puts enough into savings so if my wife wants to take time off of work for a month, a year, or a lifetime she can. I don't want anything special, well with the exception of a love.

It is funny, I envy what my parents have. I envy their love. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be so lucky as to have the same because it seems to perfect. I do not know how my parents met. I do not even know how long they knew each other before they married. I do not know what it was that inspired my father to ask my mother for marriage. I do not think those things are important. What is important to me is that they found each other, and with that love.

I like my Fridays like my Women...Black.

2006-11-25T11:24:00.000-06:00

Lets look at America from a foreigner's view for a moment. Let us view a single day of the year, say the third friday of November. Some of you may ask why I choose this day, of all days, thinking that I have some reason or another. Well the truth is that I do, this day is Black Friday.

To a foreigner it must seem crazy, getting up well before the break of dawn (and in some cases the break of dusk) to wait out in the freezing cold for hours before a shop opens. To a foreigner there is nothing special about this day, nor the day before it. Yet somehow, an entire nation knows this day for some reason. What a foreigner does not know is that this day signals the start of the Chirstmas shopping season. This is the day after Thanksgiving and it means SALES!

I too look forward to this day, but not for all the same reasons as everyone else. I do enjoy great deals on items that usually cost double what they go for on this day, but I do not shop for gifts. That is to say, I do not shop for gifts for other people. I shop for me. I find that this day is the perfect day to find myself a birthday present seeing as how my birthday is always in the same week. This tradition started maybe five years ago when my dad went out on Black Friday to buy christmas gifts for my brother, my sister and me. I wanted to tag along and natrually was denied the request. However, the year after I was brought with, I think to ensure getting double of an item (this is the result of limiting customers on the number of an item you can buy) the item I believe was a dirt cheap DVD player for my brother and sister to each have. Well, I figured if I was going to be there at the break of day, suffering in the cold, and it was right around my birthday, I deserved a treat. And so the tradition began, only me and my father brave the cold and crowds year after year, even if there is nothing to brave them for.

This year waiting in line was an expirience. After scoping out the sale papers for weeks online and the day before with a hard copy, my father and I realized there wasn't much worth getting, that is unless you are like me and want to have an enormous amount of storage space for your computer. So I treated myself to an external hard drive that was dirt cheap. My dad tagged along just for the fun of it, and in the process picked up some jewel cases and photo paper. We also managed to avoid the hellish lines at Best Buy (our usual place to go) and we defected to Staples (which is always the store we hit after we checkout at Best Buy). This seemed to be the right choice to make.

Here is the thing, my dad and I usually get up at 3:30 and get to the store between 4:00 and 4:30. We arrived at Staples at 4:23 and there were only twenty-five people in front of us. Well, I over heard the people infront of us saying to others around them that they arrived at 3:00. So my dad and I waited for almost an hour and a half an we got a slightly worse place in line...not bad if you ask me. This makes me wonder what time the people in front started waiting. By people in front I mean the five or so sitting in chairs bundled up, the large man in shorts and a long-sleeve shirt with his daughter in pajamas, and the person next to him wearing so many layers it was hard to tell if there was actually a person inside. I reiterate, how long were they there. Also, how in the world did that man survive the night in shorts and a shirt? Granted it was a warmer than usual Black Friday, but seriously?

Not much later in the waiting, and a few new-comers behind my dad and me, a man comes up and starts telling how he just walked over from Best Buy. Apparently this man got into the line at 11:00 the previous night...and was 103rd in line. Now Best Buy had a good deal on a so-so laptop, but if you get there at 11:00 and the line is immense already, I see no point in waiting. Well this guy did, and after he got his slip for his 32" LCD TV came over and waited for some deal or another at Staples. Idiot.

I must admit a lie. Before I said that my dad and I were 26th in line, well that isn't completely true. When I counted I was 26th, but when we got there we were farther back. about 5:15 the people that entered the line at 3:00 heard about some deal across town and left to go get it. They gave up a nice spot in line, a spot that could make or break waiting in line for other people, just to go across town and be last in line for something else. Well, I wasn't complaining because I moved on up.

Eventually the employees come through the line and hand our our insurance slips, and I get the one I came for. My dad grabs one for something he didn't need or want, "Just in case". There is some more waiting around until they let us in early. Like five minutes early. 'Twas nice. In reality my dad and I could have been in and out of there by 6:07, but I switched lines for checkout because there was a misleading answer to one of my questions to an employee. Either way, I think we were out by 6:15 and no later than 6:20. My dad also handed his insurance slip to the people behind us who needed one.

Ballroom Dancing

2006-11-19T22:27:00.000-06:00

This past weekend I returned to my little old house in my little old town. Granted, I will be going home in three days time, but I wanted to go with my parents who were traveling up north to Green Bay to visit my sister. So I pounced on this escape. What I learned while I was gone amazed me.

Since I moved into the dorms I have noticed that something wasn't quite right with the people that are here. At the beginning I thought that I would be able to figure out what was wrong and take whatever steps were needed to make it seem right. But oh how time does pass. I think when we got here, people were more tolerant of other people, we all were more open to the idea of hanging out with whoever because we didn't know them. That is how I met a good majority of all my friends here. However, time has the effect of realization.

When I arrived here I knew maybe three people. All my good friends were left behind or went off in a different direction. Since most of my friends were a good distance away, and parking passes here are far too expensive, I was cut off from the people I have known for years. This severance is what forced me to reach out to others, to befriend those in the same situation, and a few who were not. Which, on a side note, those people who came to school with all their friends...I personally think that there is a bit of growing up that needs to be done. Moving on. So I now had friends and we did pretty much everything together. We just dove in and life seemed back to normal. It wasn't.

It seems that you cannot just dive into friendships. Let me make this clear. I am not saying that you should refuse to try and make new friends unless you take it at a very slow pace, I am saying that you cannot assume that you will instantly be the best of friends. I made this mistake. I thought that the people I was hanging out with could easily replace the ones that I left behind or the ones that left me behind. I even saw some of my old friends within my new friends. Which I think is a bad connection to make. More on this later. Friendships need to be built, not made. Friendships require years, not seconds. Friendships are a dance, not a leap. Friendships are learned, something you are not born with.

So you cannot make friendships in the seconds it takes to leap, because of this I believe it is obvious why you should not look for old friends within new ones. I, as I have stated, am guilty of this. A couple of my new friends I saw resemblances of the old in. But when you see someone you know in someone you don't, you start to think you actually do know the person. If the person you see, is someone you have known for years then you start to treat the new as the old. You attempt the fine-tuned dance of the waltz with someone that likes to tango. To put it simply, you act like you would with the old, and it isn't what the new is used to.

Now after three months of waltzing the tango, I have stepped on too many feet and now my partner is pissed. This in turn has made me stop dancing. I am sitting on the sidelines, watching others dance their dances.

When I was sitting in my friends dorm room back home, I came to this realization. I realized that you cannot replace old friends, nor can you ever forget them. The old friends are the ones that you spent the first eighteen years of your life with, building memories and learning to dance. Now I find myself attempting the fine-tuned humor with my new friends, only to realize that it is fine-tuned to another person. I think this is why my friendships here are not working, and if one of you reading this happens to be one of those people, I have two things to say to you. First, I am sorry. Second, be more open. If you are reading this and you are one of my age old dancers, I have this to say to you; remember that one time...

Why do we fight!?

2006-11-14T23:46:00.000-06:00

For my sociology class we are required to view four movies throughout the semester. So far we have watched The Corporation, Bread and Roses and tonight we watched Why We Fight.

I am completely for this movie and what it conveys. I love the idea that the government goes to war just because we need to. It appears that since the end of WWII America has come up with reasons to fight and has backed it with the slogan: FREEDOM! President Eisenhower warned the country of this in his farewell adress. He said that the government is becoming war hungry in our post-war times. Eisenhower feared that this hunger will end up fueling the economy, which it seems that it has.

Now my qualm is not with this statement. I mean, I do not like the idea of America being war-hungry but in my heart I know it is true. My qualm is with another, less prominent, point made in the movie. The government knows that if they want to continue their war efforts in any war then they need to convince the American people that what they are doing is right, is just, is in the name of FREEDOM! What better way to do this than with the media.

I hate how the media is influenced by our government. It is true, we do have the freedom to write what we want, when we want and about who we want. But we, the media, can only write based on the 'facts' that are given to us. The film touched on how the government is structured so that when anyone makes a statement, they can only word things in a way that they are given by their superiors. This means if the government does not feel like telling us something, all they need to do is beat around the bush and word it differently so as to give us the truth, to a certain point of view.
"So what I have told you was true... from a certain point of view. "
"A certain point of view!"
If you ask me, this is a form of limiting the freedom of the press. Taking away one of our natrual born rights. And I, being a Journalism major, do not like it. No I do not like it one bit. Unfortunately, this little factoid is not news to me. I have heard it before and often I wonder if this is the reason that I chose to be a Journalism major. Thinking I could be the martyr that goes out and reports everything how it is, and in the end I will die for it. Or maybe thats just me being full of myself.

Either way, what the government is doing is wrong. If you feel the need to defy the government, please return here and read some more because the blog represents what every American citizen, even those who are not, wants to have...FREEDOM!

La Haine

2006-11-13T17:37:00.000-06:00

This post has been in the works for a week or so now. I have been quite hesitant on posting it because of personal reasons. See the problem with living in a dorm is that you live with other people. Bind that together with a Facebook account that has a link to your blog, well pretty much anyone that you know can find what you say. This means no whining about them.

Well I changed my mind. I need to get this out for the world to hear. I need to say what is on my chest. Three hairs and a crucifix.

I am going to write things like they could have happened to anybody, because in fact most of these happened to me, and a bunch of them I observed happening too.

So here is a little problem that I have noticed. Someone will be watching TV, or rather listening to it while doing homework or sitting at the computer and their roomate will walk in and just change the channel. From what I have figured out, the roomate is the one who owns the TV. That somehow gives them the rights to it, no? Well I disagree. It is merely childish to think of it being theirs so they can watch what they want when they want.

Another thing that I have witnessed is someone walking into a room with the door closed. It really makes me wonder what is going through that person's head when they decide to open someones door. 'Hmm, maybe this one will be unlocked, empty and have some good loot.' Or possibly, 'Maybe this one will be unlocked and I can catch someone doing it.' Or finally, 'This seems like the best way to be an ass.'

I am hoping all of you know the Rules of Public Urination, or are familiar with my 'Shield' move. Well one of the rules is that you do not engage in conversation while you are going. Never. One video I saw detailed in the possible outcome and, well everyone ended up dead. Well, in relation to this rule and a few of the others, I think that they should also apply to public showering. There should be no conversation between two or more parties before, during, or after the act of showering in public. Nor should direct eye contact be made for obvious reasons. The spacing rule should also be taken into account. When possible take the stall on an end. Then you take one that is not adjacent to an occupied one. If one of those cases can't be found, you come back later.

In our dorm we observe curtessy hours at eleven o'clock on school days. That is patrolled and enforced by our House Fellows. Well it should also be enforced within a room. It makes no sense to have a rule saying that it has to be quiet outside of a room if your roomate cannot be quiet within.

People should also realize that their background when they moved here is now completely irrelevant to where they are now. I don't care if mommy and daddy are paying for your food, or housing, or tuition, or even the whole shebang. Some of us are making it through, but barely. There should be no flaunting of money, nor expressing that mommy or daddy needs to refill the food account cause sonny is hungry. I do think that scholarships are to be waved proudly. Every damn cent you earn from your hard work should be waved along with them. But the money that mommy and daddy hand you should not.
Also, I don't care if you had your own heirarchy back home where you were king, you no longer have that here. That is unless you earn it. But they way you are used to treating your friends won't fly here unless your new friends are the same as your old. I am tired of being told that my opinion is wrong. When has an opinion ever been wrong? When? I believe, if I am quoting Dictionary.com word for word, then opinion means: a personal view, attitude, or appraisal. Therefore if I state my opinion on a subject it is in no way wrong. Deal with it you fallen kings.

So if you are reading this, and you live in my dorm please take not and try to avoid these situations.

Remember...

2006-11-05T00:21:00.000-06:00

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot;
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

Parents Weekend

2006-10-31T21:54:00.000-06:00

So being a freshman in college, there is a bit of excitement for me this weekend. This weekend is parents weekend, meaning that my parents will be up and I will show them around campus and they will take me out to eat and whatnot. It isn't like I haven't seen them since I moved in two months back, infact my mom was up with my brother last week. I don't know what it is but I am excited for it to be here.

But, for the others in my dorm, there seems to be a problem. This weekend is parents weekend. Translation, this week is a week of cleaning and stashing the "goods" so no stray eye can find them. I stand behind their abilities, I have come to learn the resourcefulness of a college student. I can guarantee you that no parent, with the exception of the ones that will tear apart a room to make sure that there is no alcohol in the vicinity, will find a drop when in reality there are quite a few drops to be found. To top it all off, I received an email today from my House Fellow (RA) to everyone within my dorm reminding us to clean up. She named the floors and dust equally as anything else, but there seemed to be an implied emphasis on hiding/getting rid of anything that should not be in a dorm. It made me laugh. As I already stated, I have nothing to worry about. I do not drink and my parents know this, therefore anything found in my dorm would belong to my roommate (which is the case with the bottle currently sitting on our fridge door) and/or someone who needed an extra place to stash something. I doubt that the latter will come into play though.

But here in lies the problem for me. Weekends are the time that I choose to spend my weekly allotment of fun, at least the majority of it. Now I realized that it is possible to have during the times that my parents aren't here, and that is what I plan on doing. But the problem lies within what I want to do. See Friday night there is a LOTR marathon from like 7:30pm until 7:30am/whenever the movies are done. That means that I will be up all night. Then my parents show up and we walk, get food, and whatnot. Sounds fine sofar? Well, depending on when my parents decide to head home and when everyone else decides to commence with plans...I will be heading out to go clubbin' with them. That will go to God knows what hour Sunday morning.

So I guess when I say that I am excited for parents weekend, it might not be fully that I can't wait to see my parents (don't get me wrong I do want to see them) but rather I am excited to see if I will survive the grueling marathon of excitement. Oh and I excited to see if the other guys here will survive the inspection that their parents give their rooms.

Update 11-3-06:
I today have learned of how the other guys in the dorm planned on hiding their "goods." Thier plan consisted of drinking whatever was left in their room today at noon. They seem to have suceeded. Then one of them proceeded to go to class. Another passed out on his futon. The third went off to work...as a lifeguard. Fear us.

Intro to, uh, whatever...

2006-10-29T21:46:00.000-06:00

Well, I guess this initial post is an admittance to defeat, at least temporary defeat. See my plan, my scheme, my journey if you will, was to create my own website. One where I could post and doodle and have a few extras here and there. That, however, is harder than it sounds (which it already might sound pretty hard). I made my way through the entire design process, I think...because I kept finding new things to add but that is irrelevant, and once I got to the programming part, I ran into a few errors. I'd explain those here, but I doubt many people wish to hear the woes of a newbie PHP programmer. To sum it up, I couldn't get my nav buttons working how I wanted them to work.

So I guess, possibly, that an introduction is in order so you know a little about me and well me. My name is Daniel, but I will answer to pretty much any form of that with pretty much any title preceding it (i.e. Sir Dan, Lord Daniel, etc.). At the time of this post I am nearing the end of my 18th year on this here planet. I reside in a dorm in the lakeshore area of the UW-Madison campus. I currently am in the process of ridding my schedule of prerequisites for the School of Journalism. Come to think of it I think there is only one class that is a prerequisite...hmm I should look into that. At the moment I am on a leave of absence from two separate jobs, and I am in the process of finding one here on campus. I have a very diverse background, leading me to describe myself as a "Jack of all trades, master of none." I am an avid doodler, especially when I should be taking notes during class. There is a possibility that I will post some doodles de temps en temps. I am big on computers too, depending on my mood I specialize in hardware and web programming but I am no stranger to games, tricks, and programming languages. Soccer has been my passion for the past twelve years of my life, but due to lack of a team running has become the substitute. I find that late night runs down State Street are rather relaxing. Finally, for now, naps are one of my favorite discoveries of the year.

Without being conceded, vain and/or sounding like a middle schooler on Myspace I'll try and give you a brief description of my "personality." I am laid back, don't take everything I say seriously. Let me repeat, don't take everything I say seriously. If you do, however, please be prepared to be offended. I have this tendency to procrastinate too, so far I am on the second day of writing this. Avoid rubbing me the wrong way, feel free to rub me the right way. If you choose the wrong way, you will be blacklisted in my mind making anything you have said/say/will say moot. Try and make me forgive and forget, I triple-dog-dare you. Free, open mindedness is the way to be. I avoid the norm, that is unless I agree with the norm or rather the norm agrees with me.

Wow, I look back on this and read it and see that I am pretty spacey (if you don't agree with this sentence then that means I went back and cleaned it up a bit). But yeah, I intend to use this journal more as a way to creatively rant about whatever I feel the need. Normally I would rant to my friends but sadly I don't have the same caliber friends here (no offense if your one of those but we haven't had the 16 years required to build a 16 year bond). So I guess, those of you reading this are my new close friends. Feel free to offer feedback, objections or just passively sit by and listen.